All posts tagged Relationships

NO MORE FROGS (Free Indeed)

Published March 9, 2015 by lavoniartryon

Recently, (this is a relative and very loose use of time) but recently nevertheless, I was in what may could have been called a relationship, maybe. For all intents and purposes, I treated it like a relationship. But it wasn’t one. There was no commitment, not on his end. He told me he wasn’t ready for a relationship because he had gone through some hard times in his life and he needed time to really be ready for that type of commitment. And I believed him, and lied to myself to say that I was being supportive and not just silly. If I didn’t have on my ‘Captain Save-a-Man’ pants on, I would have realized that the healing he needed couldn’t come from me. It could and would only be found in Christ. If I didn’t have on my ‘I can fix his broken heart’ glasses on, I would have realized that he would never get that healing, because he had no intention of going to Christ for that healing. He was too much of a ‘man’ to ask for help, so he would never fall on his knees, broken and contrite in spirit before the Healer. So I tried to allow the Jesus in me to be enough. Ouch. It wasn’t. It couldn’t be. My light is simply an extension of The Light. I shine the spotlight on Him, and if those that look to me, can’t see past me to Him, then I am a dim flicker at best.

He only saw me. That’s all he wanted to see. And I then realized that I was back in the ‘potential cycle’ (Read NOT ANOTHER SINGLES BOOK and you’ll understand), but this time I was the one with potential. I wasn’t what he wanted or needed, but I would do. I was a placeholder-someone who he needed at the moment, but never really saw a lifetime with me. If I were really honest with myself, I didn’t see a future with him either, but I had already convinced my friends of how great he was, so I couldn’t give up that easily, right?

Wrong. I could, and I did. I sucked it up and I let him go-in turn, freeing myself. I bit the bullet and told my friends that the knight in shining armor that I had been describing, was really a joker on a mule. Was it hard? Not as hard as wasting time in another useless relationship that would take my focus off my purpose and my prayers from the man that God is truly saving for me.

Why am I choosing to share this with the world wide web? My Pastor, Jeremy Foster- of is preaching a sermon on being Free Indeed. The Lord has been dealing with me so deeply within this series and today during worship, the tears wouldn’t stop flowing. I couldn’t place where they were coming from, until he started preaching. He stated that Integrity, Generosity and Humility were the antidotes to closing doors on satan’s influence.

I know that the enemy is attacking my ministry because it is shaking hell and stirring heaven. So, because of that my character has to be above reproach and my faith, walk and testimony has to be transparent. I share this because I am still in this journey. I am still struggling with loneliness and the foothold that I gave the enemy was to believe the lie that I would have to settle in order to get married. I no longer believe this lie, and it will no longer be passenger along my journey.

I don’t have to settle. I won’t settle. I will receive my exceedingly, abundantly. And I will continue to set ablaze all lies that Singles hear, and combat it with the truth. NO MORE FROGS. My Prince is here.


Published May 1, 2013 by lavoniartryon



Scripture: Mark 8:22-24 They came to Bethsaida, and some people brought a blind man and begged Jesus to touch him. 23 He took the blind man by the hand and led him outside the village. When he had spit on the man’s eyes and put his hands on him, Jesus asked, “Do you see anything?”He looked up and said, “I see people; they look like trees walking around.” Once more Jesus put his hands on the man’s eyes. Then his eyes were opened, his sight was restored, and he saw everything clearly. 26 Jesus sent him home, saying, “Don’t even go intothe village.”

Challenge: Look over the first 4 months of this year. What has God shown you about yourself in your Single life? What are you still not seeing clearly?

This miracle is unique because it is only found in Mark and this is the only time (at least that I have found) that Christ took two times to fully heal someone. The only miracle where the healing was not immediate. So why is this? Did Jesus miss when he spit the first time? Did he not get enough saliva on him? Was the man’s faith a factor? The truth is, we don’t know. The Bible doesn’t say why Jesus had to do it twice, it just simply says that He did. But, I believe there is beauty in this story, not a do-over but a do-again.

When I read this story, I see several things. First, the people led the blind man to Jesus and begged Jesus to touch him. His friends knew that Christ was the only One that could solve his problem, so they brought him for healing. Then they did something spectacular. They begged Jesus. Not for themselves, but for their friend. This is powerful! How many of us have begged, pleaded and cried out to God…FOR.SOMEONE.ELSE? This was not for their healing, but for the wholeness of their friend. I’m sure all of the people that led the blind man had something in their lives that could use Jesus’ touch, but yet they saw the greater need in their friend and was willing to put their needs to the side, to get healing for someone else.

I related so much to this single verse. As you know, I am Single (shocker, huh?). Only within the last few years, have I begun to see my Singleness as a calling and not a status. I realize that God allowed me to go through and survive so many things in my life that led me to this point, so that I can then turn and encourage someone else that may be headed down the path that I have already traveled. My coin statement ‘My struggle-your lesson’ is real. Learn from my struggle, so you don’t have to repeat it. I am those ‘some people’ leading other Singles to Christ and begging Him to touch them and make them whole.  I recognize that the need for YOU to experience this time as a blessing and not a curse is so much more important than any other of my issues that I would bring to Christ about being released from this Season. Your need is greater than mine, and your healing is more important than my selfishness.

Next, we have Jesus lead the man alone outside of the village. So, the people that brought him to Jesus didn’t even get to see the miracle performed? No, lest they begin to believe that this blind man’s healing had anything to do with them. They did their part- they led him to Jesus. Again, this hit home. Your acceptance of your Single season and desire to grow in it has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with me. I am simply a pathway to get you to Jesus. He does all the work apart from me, because I need no incentive to boast. The Lord knows that, so He inspired a book ‘NOT Another Singles Book’, and then removed me from the equation. This Movement is not about me. I don’t hold your hand and read the book to you. I simply take what I know about Christ and what He has done for me- and I lead you towards Him so that he can get you alone. I’m dismissed from the healing, because this is about you and Christ- and He doesn’t need an audience to do a miracle.

Finally we get to the healing. Christ spits on the man’s eyes and asks ‘Do you see anything?’ This blew me away. Why would Jesus ask this? He already knows that all power and authority belongs to Him, so it can’t be that He doubts His own ability. There has to be another reason for Him asking this question. I believe that it was to give some responsibility to the blind man. He had to TELL Jesus that he was not yet whole. He could have just walked away and accepted that He was better than he came. After all, he COULD see, even if it wasn’t too clearly. Christ was asking him, ‘Do you want to be better or do you want to be whole?’ He is asking that question to us as Singles. Do we just want to muddle through this time experiencing more good days than bad days, or do we want to get the exceedingly, abundantly that He has stored into this season? Our response has to be the same as this blind man, ‘I can see, but it’s not all the way clear.’

Then Christ will touch us again. The fact that this man was healed in stages speaks nothing to Jesus’ power but to His sovereignty. He was able to heal this man in one step, but HE chose to do it in intervals, because he knew in 2013 that we would need to see it and understand that nothing is wrong with us because we didn’t get it the first time. We needed to see that just because we tried it once and it didn’t work out, there is nothing wrong with trying it again. He had to show us just because someone else prayed and the Lord sent their spouse immediately, that may not be our story- and that’s ok. He wanted us to recognize that this is a journey and not a destination- that we may have intervals of peace in this season and spurts of doubts as well.

Have you lost your contentment? Have you gotten out of or into a relationship that is challenging your relationship and understanding of what God has spoken about your ordained spouse? It’s ok. Christ is saying ‘Let’s do it ONCE AGAIN.’

This 30 Day Singles Challenge blessed my life so much the first 6 months ago, but since then I have had two spouts with doubting the path that he has for me, and trying to replace Him with someone that doesn’t look anything like Him. So I see, but things have begun to get a bit muggy again, so God is telling me and you, ‘Let’s do this again and get you whole.’

Are you willing to journey with me, ONCE MORE?

Day 9: Are you the FOOL? Or Just FOOLISH?

Published October 11, 2012 by lavoniartryon

Memory verse: It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1

Psalm 51

Task: Go through your phone and delete those ‘foolish’ numbers- both that make you act the fool and those that are the fool. Post how that it feels to let him or her go.

Have you ever looked up and said how in the world did I get here?!? How did I get into this relationship, and WHY did I stay so long? Why did I allow myself to fall for the same lines again? Maybe just as Aaron Neville said- everyone plays the fool sometimes, there’s no exception to the rule.

Read 2 Samuel 25. This is the story of Abigail, her husband Nabal and her king, David. Looking at her life we are going to determine are we the fool or just foolish and how to get out of the situation. Abigail was an uncommon woman. She was intelligent and beautiful and smart and wise and had discernment. She had it going on. So WHY did she marry THIS FOOL?!?!! She was an uncommon woman in a common situation.

I agree that we can too find ourselves in some foolish situations. We look back and we say: God I should have seen that coming. How could I have been so stupid? We are intelligent uncommon (royal priesthood, chosen nation, fearfully and wonderfully made) people, but we often find ourselves in some foolish situations.

If you know me, I love acronyms. So let’s use the acronym of FOOL to see how we got in and how to get out of foolish situations.


This may be a hard thing to understand and I see it in two perspectives. First Abigail may not have had a choice in her situation. Nabal was rich enough to pay her dowry; he was accepted by her father-for whatever reason so she was married.

Some situations we didn’t get ourselves in, we were called up for them. What does this mean? Job was called up- he didn’t choose his situation he was ordained for it. Jeremiah couldn’t get away from his calling if he tried, and he did try. Mary was summoned to bear Jesus- she didn’t choose to be an unwed teenage mother to the Savior of the world. She was ordained. The Israelites didn’t get lost when they were chased by the Egyptians, God directed them to an impossible, impassible situation in order for the Israelites to see God’s glory. Many of our situations will be the same. We will simply be chosen by God to fulfill His glory.

The next scenario was that Abigail willingly married a fool! Nabal didn’t start being a fool in Chapter 25, he was a fool when she married him, but she still married him. Why? How many times have we willingly walked into a foolish situation as wise individuals? We have attached ourselves to some foolish people, some foolish situations, some foolish relationships both platonic and definitely romantic, but yet we still do it? Why? God only knows…

So now you know how you got there. Maybe we get into that situation because we feel we can change them, we can affect our environment. Is this foolish thinking? NO!! (or at the least, not always) Abigail was in a foolish situation, but she didn’t conform to her environment she changed it.


Verse 14, the servant came to her-NOT NABAL. She was more wise than her husband. She had discernment and order in her household, and everyone knew it, but he was foolish enough to believe that he was running things. She didn’t flaunt this or make a big show- she simply was. She was in what seemed like an unchanging situation, so she decided to change.

So not only did she order her environment, she ordered those in it as well.

She recognized that she needed to cover her husband to save the lives of those connected, but do it in such a way that her husband didn’t know. We will often play the background–families, work, school and we are often overlooked as a group, but we have to recognize that our reward has to come from Christ, because we might not get earthy accolades.

Romans 12:1-2 she renewed her mind. We have to daily do this. She didn’t allow the what she was going through turn her foolish, she remained unconformed (is that a word) to her environment. You have dominion. USE IT.


This can be tricky. Jonah wasn’t released until he relented. Your exit strategy must be in the will of God. When she saw the opportunity to act she acted quickly (some versions say AT ONCE-SHE LOST NO TIME) There is a window of opportunity for us on many things, and we have to be ready to act when that happens. Divine guidance only comes to prepared hearts. Because she had spent her entire married life dealing with a harsh man, she had learned how to manage him, so a sensible Godly man was no problem. She learned from her foolish situation.

She used discernment to secure her exit strategy. She reminded David of his commitment to the Lord first, and that the shedding of blood would put guilt on his hands. Then she admonished him to ‘remember her’ when the Lord had exalted him. She was now connected to someone that could get her out of the situation. Who are you connected to that can pull you out? Or are you the only one pulling up and everyone else is pulling you down? Then you haven’t ordered your environment, and might need to find your exit.

She was intelligent and didn’t allow her situation to dull her sensitivity so she was ready to move when it was time.


V 39-41. She got out. How many times do we see an open door but we stay paralyzed to walk through it? I’m reminded of the story of an elephant that was tied to a poll for 6 months where he could only take 2 steps forward, 2 steps back, 2 steps left and 2 steps right. At the end of this time, he was unchained but for the next 6 months he still continued to walk those 2 directional steps. Why? Because he had gotten so used to being stagnant and stationary, that he didn’t even recognize his own freedom. We have been set free, yet we keep dancing the same two step, dating the same guy with a different face, falling for the same girl in a different dress.

Vow to never live foolish again. When Jesus met the woman at the well, her situation changed and she had a choice to go back to her old life, but once she had a taste of God, she couldn’t.


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