You yo daddy’s son John 8:44

Published November 24, 2016 by lavoniartryon

I really hope that this is understood. I sincerely hope that my heart is heard in this. I know some people may get offended by this, and good. Hopefully those of you that find yourself in this category, get offended enough to do one of two things: 1. Start coming correct OR 2. Stop coming at all.

Many of y’all may not be ready to be this real, and still say Amen, so if that’s you, then you might want to stop reading right now…for the rest of y’all…leggo.

Here’s the thing…

There’s a worldly term called a ‘Fboy’. Yep, you know what the F is for. This is a guy that literally comes for himself, he has no intention to do right by you, and maybe not any girl at this point, but he still lurks into your life, stirs up your emotions, get you sucked in and attached, and then catches ghost. It’s like his sole purpose is to see if he can get you, and he will often pursue the heck out of you to get your attention. Work overtime to prove that he is worthy of you, that is – until he gets you. Then a switch flips, and the things he did to get you become a foreign language and it’s like he does the opposite, all the while trying to convince you that YOU are the problem. Like your expecting of him to even remotely live up to the man that he pretended to be to get your attention, is preposterous. In this case, the F has now changed to, Bruh, get the… yeah, you understand me.

So recently I was trying to come up with a word that would describe a Fboy but a man that’s in the church. Talking to friend, we came up with an ‘Lboy.’ L stands for Lucifer. I don’t think there’s any other way to describe a dude that is in the church supposedly loves God, maybe a minister, but definitely serving in ministry, yet he’s coming for girls knowing he has no intention of actually developing a relationship with them. John 8:44 says ‘You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.’ Bruh, if this don’t hit the nail right on his slimy puny head! Lies flow freely from his lips as he woos you with his servant’s heart, but serpent tendencies.

What I will never understand is why do the Lboys come for girls that they know are looking for a relationship? They prey on the women looking for a man to pursue them, those looking for the promise of what Christ tells us to wait for — an example of what the church tells us to wait for. Why do these dudes come for these girls? Why not try for a girl that just came to the church to get a form of godliness but denying the power of it? Why not seek out the girls that don’t really want you because you’re Christian but they want you because they can tell Mama that you Christian, but they really know how you are behind closed doors?  Here’s the answer I’ve come up with. Because these girls are too easy. They don’t require a challenge and they don’t satisfy that innate pull that says ‘this is the girl you SHOULD be with, even if you aren’t man enough to be worthy of her’. The girls that these Lboys should be going for would accept them for who that are, and not call them to be something different, something more. Those girls would accept your inconsistencies, your lies, your lack of pursuit, your broken promises and dates, your ‘I’ll call you right back’ turning into 2 days, your ‘my phone died, but I just saw you post on Snapchat’ thinly veiled tactics. So of course you won’t come for them. They know that they are an option and not the priority, but these women (God bless their hearts), haven’t realized their worth yet, so they accept this because they have believed the lies of your father that tell them that they can’t do better than you. B, please.  

So on behalf of all the tired women that know their worth, and are exhausted with your foolishness, go get you a chick that ain’t talking bout nothing, and leave us the hell alone. Real talk. With everything in me, leave me the hell alone. If you not talking about pursuing us, if you not talking about putting forth the effort and  the time that it will take to actually get to know us, leave us be. I mean this with every fiber of my being. I’m tired of hearing women, my friends and loves, talking about meeting a dude that supposedly loves God, I mean love the Lord and serving in church and doing all this and that, and getting her hopes up, not due to created fantasies, but actually believing that a guy would actually mean what he says. Then turn around a couple weeks later and this dude has either tried to sleep with her, or is talking to several other girls at the same time or treating her like an option and not a priority. He’s started to not honor her, not pursue her, and now she is doubting herself and trying to find the warning signs that she missed. Many times, we do miss the warning signs, but sometimes, y’all jokers show up like a traffic jam at 2am, completely unexpected. You hide yourself well, and then when it’s time to showup, we realize all too quickly, that you have absolutely no substance.  Bruh, how do you go to sleep at night? How do you stand up and minister in the morning, knowing that your lifestyle is not conducive to what you’re saying? You don’t feel any conviction? Like nothing? I don’t understand and to be honest I really don’t want to understand, may I never be able to relate to that mentality. But I must say it and please listen to me…if you not talking about nothing if you don’t really want a woman worthy of the man that you pretended to be…

LEAVE.US.THE.HELL.ALONE.

I’ve seen this too often and it needs to be addressed. I sincerely wish more men that are truly living Godly and looking to pursue a wife, would stand up and say this. Because the truth is, they aren’t just messing with the women’s hearts, they are messing with your future wife’s heart. They are causing pain and wounds, that God will have to heal, before she can be ready for you. They are causing trust issues that, even after getting healed, will still fight to try to show up in your marriage. They are making women skeptical of giving YOU a chance, because her heart has been mangled more in the church, than in the world. Speak up, grab a young man and teach him. Don’t look away and dismiss it as ‘I would never do that’, because real talk, this Lboy is just as much your problem as he is ours.*

*Grammatical errors intentional to add emphasis*

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I’m no longer waiting…

Published October 21, 2016 by lavoniartryon

 Got away

God said Yes.

I said Yes.

He said No.

And I’m OK.

In 1 Samuel 10 Saul is anointed as King of Israel and oh what a joyous occasion this is. God has chosen him as King over the people and he is officially announced in chapter 11. Then a lot of stuff happens where Saul is disobedient, arrogant, prideful and breaks Priest laws (read Chapters 10-14 for all the juicy details) so we get to chapter 15 and God has had enough. Verse 10 states ‘I regret I have made him king for he has turned away from me and not carried out the Lord’s instructions’.

And this is where we pick up. The Sovereign God that we serve loves us so much that he has created a plan for our lives. But in that love, He still gives us the choice to choose His plan over our own. He will not force His will on us, even we He knows our own plans will get us rejected. He is there to pick up the pieces, IF we return to Him. If not, we are replaced.

Many of you have been following my #ivewaitedforyou story, the fairytale reality of the guy I was dating, how we met and the journey of our romance. One thing that I didn’t plan for, or that you could never seen as a twist, was if he said ‘no’. If he refused the plan, and instead chose something else. At this point, I thought about doubting and saying ‘maybe I heard the Lord wrong,’ ‘Maybe my will was stronger than God’s in my life and he wasn’t God’s choice, but my own.’ I could say all of that, but it wouldn’t be true.

I did hear God. Distinctly. But I didn’t factor in his choice. I never thought that he wouldn’t be on the same page as me, that he wouldn’t want the same things I did. But, if I were honest I would say that there were warning signs. Throughout 1 Samuel 10-14, there are several indicators that Saul is not on the right track, that something is off, but yet he keeps going down the path of destruction. Samuel actually rebukes Saul in Chapter 13, but doesn’t reject him. I had this moment a couple of months ago where there were indicators that he was no longer who I thought was ‘it’, but I was already invested. I had made a decision and I wanted to honor it, even though I could feel it slipping away. I had lost my peace, one of the most important elements in the pursuit of a relationship.

Then a friend asked me a question that shook me to my core: ‘Are you fighting so hard for this because it’s what you really want or are you fighting so hard because you want to avoid going through what you will have to, if you let it go?’ Was I staying because it was easier than letting go and having to deal with the questions, hurt, disappointment and feelings of rejection? At that moment, I knew the answer.

He was my imagined best. He was what I had been waiting for, but I realized that I had been waiting for the wrong thing. Have you ever been in a line and when you get all the way to the front, you are told that you have been in the wrong line all this time, and what you actually need can’t be found there? You waited, only to realize that what you were waiting for, wasn’t what you thought it was. He was what I wanted, but not what I needed. I couldn’t see that, so God exposed both his and my heart issues, to get to the conclusion that this wasn’t working.

In Mark Batterson’s book, The Circle Maker – he tells the story of a Sage named Honi that prayed for rain in a drought. He drew a circle and prayed with authority only born from a belly-deep relationship for rain to come. It started to drizzle and he refined his prayer to ask for rain that would meet the needs caused by the drought. It started hailing, and he refined his prayer even more to model the Lord’s grace and favor – a consistent, steady downpour of refreshing. He prayed, God met the need and he realized that God rewards specific prayers. #ivewaitedforyou needed to be refined. I wasn’t specific enough so I got an answer but it turned out to not be what I needed. I have now sifted my request and it is now #iveprayedforyou. I spent time waiting in the wrong line, only to realize it was no longer what I needed. The one that comes, will be an answered prayer not just the end of the line.

It’s hard to accept a no, when I first heard a yes. Today, I choose to trust Christ and follow peace. I know what I heard and what I wanted, but I also know that there is no longer peace there. The strength is in me now realizing that my needs weren’t being met, and walking away. I realize that if it started this way, it wouldn’t get better, I would just get more tolerant. This would become my normal. But I am no longer that girl. I fought too hard to get out of that mentality and NO ONE will ever take me back there.  It was time to choose me. So I chose to walk away, tears streaming but shoulders lifted. You can’t fight if the person won’t even get in the ring. And there is no point fighting, if you no longer desire the win.

The hope is in Chapter 16. Samuel is mourning over Saul and God gut-punches him. “Why are you crying over someone I have rejected? Get up, wash your face – pop your curls and your lip gloss, and be on your way. The King that will fight for you and not with you, the Priest that has been praying for you, not just waiting on you, the Kinsman Redeemer that is waiting to restore your heart – is being prepared for you.” (my interpretation of God’s oration).

God thank you. I want what you have for me. I trust your promise. I’ll get through the pain. I’ll survive the struggle of starting over. And I will love. Stronger. Better. Right.

 

One Day My Prince Will Come. And I will be ready…

 

Breathing with No Air… Resuscitated

Published October 10, 2016 by lavoniartryon

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2 weeks. I took a moment to unplug to recharge, and I didn’t know how much I needed it. I equate it to being dehydrated but never knowing it until you taste water again. I was running on empty, operating on fumes, even though I was spending time with the Lord daily.

 

How did I get here?

Why was I staying here?

 

My time with God had become routine. Every morning between 5:00 and 5:30 am, I awoke with a desire and hunger to meet with My Father, but I realized that I was showing up to the table, but not really being present. It had become one of those family dinners, that everyone HAS TO attend, but no one really wants to be there, so you sit and eat without talking, waiting for the moment that it’s ok to leave without seeming rude. This was what my quiet time had unknowingly become. I have been reading through the Old Testament this year, and I realized on one day, while surrounded by my Concordance, Bible Dictionary, Commentary and Bible, that I was not growing. I was coming to the table, but not eating. I never meant to be here, but somehow this is where I woke up.

 

The operative words are I.WOKE.UP. And once I realized what was happening, I refused to stay there. I had to do something different. So I took a break from my social media, and I fell back in love with My Savior. It is possible to feed everyone around you, while starving yourself. I had begun to get a Word, so that I could give it away, all the while never stopping to get refueled myself. I would hear a Word and immediately think, ‘This is for somebody’, so I would post it on Social Media and someone always remarked how this was exactly what they needed to hear. But during the past two weeks, every Word has been for me. Every unmasked spiritual truth, every revealed revelation, every divine manna word – has been for me. It wasn’t meant for me to share, it was meant for me to be Mary and just glean at the Master’s feet. Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good…I.AM.SO.FULL. The journey of this time away has been a start of unexpected prayers and indescribable blessings.

 

During this time, due to some overactive imagination ‘mind monsters’ and miscommunications, I had to refocus on Christ and take my hands and expectations off of my budding relationship. After my broken engagement, I made a covenant with the Lord that never again would I place a man in His place, never again would I idolize a relationship, and never would I place faith in a man that should only be placed in Christ. We serve a jealous God and He takes His covenants seriously. So unbeknownst to me, He orchestrated it in such a way that I would keep this vow to Him. He gut-punched, open palm slapped me. The blow stung so much that my eyes smarted, but that pain was so far outweighed by the glory of realizing where my wide open nose was taking me. I  was heading down a path that I vowed I wouldn’t go again, and because God will sometimes, most times, save us from ourselves, He set a roadblock there. The Bible says, “A prudent person foresees danger and takes precautions. The simpleton goes blindly on and suffers the consequences.”

Aren’t you tired of being the simpleton? Aren’t you tired of praying a prayer for God’s will and then getting upset when Christ has to demolish your own, just to get you to recognize His? I know I am. I can’t pray for God to use me for His glory, to have His way in my life, and to direct my path – and then get up, dust off my knees, and go on about my day according to my will. No more.

 

I realized that I was placing expectations on something that hadn’t solidified in the foundation to sustain them. I was saying I wanted this to be different, but I was unknowingly treating it the same way. I was approaching it the way I approached every other relationship, yet praying for God to do something different. Insanity. But the beautiful thing about unplugging your flesh, is the recharge your Spirit gets. His Word is a lamp unto my feet. HE reminded me to forget the former things (the old ways that I approached relationships, the former ways in which I would determine if this guy was ‘the one’), and to recognize the new thing springing up (to accept pursuit without controlling it, to allow God to speak to him and me, not through me to him).

 

A friend was God’s mouthpiece and said ‘He can’t hear from God, if he keeps hearing from you’. I was trying to control the dialogue instead of allowing God to dictate. God reminded me that He didn’t need my help in creating the Universe, He shole don’t need my help in orchestrating a relationship. So He removed me from the picture. He froze me out. And he began to speak to his heart as He continued to heal mine. He showed me that if I couldn’t learn to trust him in the little things right now, that I will always second guess him in the big things in our future. God gave me the strength to submit to His Will, yet the freedom to choose my own, then sat back and waited to see which I would choose. Of course, I failed a couple of times- but then I got it right. I surrendered and submitted, and I saw a glimpse of what marriage will look like, IF I allow God to direct it. And just that vision, is enough to tie my will to the altar and pick up His. I can only imagine that love, and now I have the opportunity to experience it.

 

As I listened to his heartbeat in a hug, this was the conversation shared:

Me: I can hear your heartbeat.

Mister: It’s beating a bit faster than normal, huh?

Me: Yeah…because of me?

Mister: Always.

 

And mine skipped.
Let patience have her complete work…Love, I’m yours. 

I’ve Waited for You…God’s love story

Published August 13, 2016 by lavoniartryon

Pursuit is the evidence of desire. I don’t know who penned this statement, but this is where it starts. Pursuit. I thought I knew what this word meant, but Webster is void of the emotions, the energy that this word evokes upon the person of which it takes hold.

In 2014, I posted this:

“I used to be a man-chaser. And what I now realize is while I was chasing the wrong one, my right one couldn’t catch me. I’d thought by now that he would be tired and stop pursuing before I stopped and waited. Then I remembered: they that wait on the Lord… shall run and not grow weary. He will continue to pursue and now that I’ve stopped chasing substitutes and am waiting on his pursuit, I thank God for second winds.” And what a beautiful second wind he is. I waited for him, but in reality, I truly believe he was kept for me. I couldn’t have imagined this story, yet God stepped back into eternity and reached into my timeline to orchestrate our paths to meet at what I would believe to be the most inopportune time.

 

We met through mutual friends in a kind of weird, roundabout way. The details aren’t as important right now, but I noticed him immediately. He is gorgeous, yet his quick smile is what captured me first. I remember that I couldn’t remember his name, which is weird for me, because I have a great memory for names and faces. About our 3rd interaction, I finally remembered it, and the smile that it earned me was worth it. We only interacted in crowds and groups and never spent time alone. We begin to build a friendship. I enjoyed the quick banter and he could match me wit for wit. Even in a room full of people, it would feel like we were the only ones in the conversation. He made a point to directly address and interact with me each time we crossed paths. He was intentional, even in the initial friendship stage. I never had to guess that he was interested in my opinion or feelings, because he made sure to directly express it. He wanted to know me, so he pursued my attention first. This was the first glimpse of what would begin this love story.

I remember being almost intimidated about how intentional he was, and because I’ve been here before but never quite like this, I laced up my Nike’s. About 3 years, I made a vow that my next boyfriend would be my husband, and God and I made a covenant that I wouldn’t date placeholders and He would remove all the impostors that might get through my initial defenses. When I first started to notice that I was more than ‘girl, he’s cute’ attracted to him, I started to back off. I made sure to invite other people into our conversations, to not initiate interactions and to act like I was always in a hurry when he was around. I know, I know. But hey, when you have done this wrong as many times as I have, you get a bit gun shy. But yet, he pursued. He made it a point to linger around until I had ran out of things to say to everyone else, lol. He positioned himself next to me in groups, made sure to ask me direct questions and actually pulled out stuff that he had noticed about me that I had never told him. “That boy good”. So, I prayed and asked God to remove him. And…I started seeing him more often. And he begin to make sure that I knew that this wasn’t a passing fancy, or a little crush.

I remember when we had “the talk”. I was so nervous, that I couldn’t form words. He smiled and said ‘There’s something here and at first I thought it was just a physical attraction, but then I realized that I started to get nervous when I knew I might see you, and that I was disappointed if I showed up and you weren’t there. This is something more and something that I want to develop. This isn’t passing, and I want to pursue this, pursue you. What are we going to do about it?” In typical fashion, I tried to deny it. Honestly, looking back, I was an idiot. A lesser man would have ran at my insecurities, my doubts, my fears. But not the one that He kept for me. The more I tried to run, the more he became that safe place and no matter how much I ran, I was beginning to realize that I was on a track, not a road. Eventually, I would end back where I started and he.was.still.there. He came prepared, he was wearing his cleats too. As I was pursuing Christ in my Single Season, his lane had intersected with mine, on his own pursuit. He heals me. He knows the real me… Some men come to destroy, others are sent to restore. When it’s time, I will tell you the story of how he is truly my Kinsman Redeemer, your faith in a Sovereign God will be all the more strengthened. Hollywood ain’t got nothing on a love story written in Heaven and manifest on Earth.

He pursues my heart. Every look, every smile, is meant only for me. I have never felt this secure. Which is crazy, because for some untold reasons, we aren’t public with our relationship. We aren’t even in a typical relationship, but when God is writing your love story, there is nothing typical about it. In his eyes, I see a vision of the scar in his side, from where I was taken. I made the comment one day that we were cut from the same cloth. His quick response, “I’m pretty sure you have one of my ribs.” And you, Sir, have come back to claim it. I’m yours.  I might question the timing, but I don’t question the rightness of this. He affirms me in ways that go beyond a false physical bond, or whispered promises that we aren’t prepared to fulfill yet. I won’t pretend to understand all of God’s plan for us, or to know when or how this will all fit together. But I do know that my God does exceedingly, abundantly above anything that I could ever imagine. I couldn’t even fathom this. He is my beautiful Surprise.

I was created for him, but he was MADE for me. Every trial, struggle and triumph that he experienced was intimately orchestrated to form him into everything that I would need. God knew who I needed, so he fashioned him. I’m eternally grateful.

Beloved, I’m not ready to share you with the world yet, let’s just rest here for a while longer. Just me and you.

Until then, we will continue #journeyingtogether

With this ring, I thee…Justify

Published January 11, 2016 by lavoniartryon

When we happen to run into someone that we haven’t seen in a long time, we often start with the same three questions, or some variations.

  1. How have you been? What have you been up to?
  2. Where do you work? What do you do?
  3. Are you married/dating/seeing anyone?

It never fails. These are the common “catching up” questions, and once answered, we feel like we have re-established a relationship, or at the very least, satisfied the courtesy quota so that we can walk away with a “ok, yes, we will meet up soon. Call/text/Facebook me!”

If you haven’t guessed yet, this blog will focus on the 3rd question. As a Single, this question is asked more than I want to answer. Even if it’s not asked, I always feel the subtle glance at my bare haunting left ring finger, and then the look in their eyes. Ok, maybe the look is perceived, but the judgement is more times than not, real. (if that word offends you – please follow me to Webster). Judgement is defined as the act or process of forming an opinion or making a decision after careful thought or consideration. This sometimes split-second judgement is the same one that many of us bestow on others: ‘Still Single, I see’. This doesn’t have to be a negative judgement, but it is a judgement that we make nevertheless.

As I write this, I am sitting at Starbucks, and I find myself glancing at the left hands of those people sitting around me. Unbeknownst to them, I’ve made a rash judgement on their lives, character and/or personality based on whether someone else wants, or at the least wanted them enough to marry them. While validating them, I subconsciously devalued myself.

As Singles, we think a ring will justify, validate us in some way. Many of us won’t admit it, so just keep on reading and we will pretend it’s just me. When we meet someone new, we will look at the ring finger, and don’t even realize that we have done it. I do believe that there is justification in the ring. There is a certain comfort and validation in knowing that you don’t have to face this world alone, that there is someone with whom you get the opportunity to do life with. In this case, the ring does justify that someone, somewhere in the world has made a public declaration that you belong. And we as Singles, sometimes automatically disqualify ourselves because we have yet to find that justification.

I’ve been sent to challenge that view.

A while back, Christ offered us all a ring. It wasn’t 3 carats, princess cut, high clarity, rose gold with a crown of baguettes surrounding it. It was brown, bloody, mangled and resting on the head of a Sinless Man crucified on a hill called Golgotha. It was a ring of thorns to symbolize that the King of Kings would not offer us things on this earth that can tatter and rust, but treasures laid up in heaven where neither moth nor vermin can touch. This justification is available to all, Jew and Gentile, Married and Single.

You are justified in Christ. You were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of God. So I want to challenge the view that a ring will justify you to man. You have been made just in Him, everything else is just the icing on the wedding cake… 🙂

LOVE: is Patient (Unedited) Chapter One of Not ANOTHER Love Book

Published January 6, 2016 by lavoniartryon

Suffereth long (KJV)

Endures long and is patient (AMP)

Patient (ESV)

Patient (HCSB)

Never gives up (MESSAGE)

Suffers long (NKJV)

Patient (NASB)

As Singles, patience should be something we have in long supply, but it often seems like its something we just keeping running out of. Or is it something that we keep running from? Patience is defined as the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset. Yep, sounds like something that I’ve run from many times. If you are Single, delay may be something that you are painfully familiar with in your life. It is defined as #thestuggle. We struggle with accepting God’s timing, especially when it doesn’t line up with what we have planned for our lives.

Patience seems to come in small waves and doses. We are supposed to be patiently waiting for our spouse. Patiently waiting to be found as a female or to discover a woman worthy of being found as a man. Waiting. Patiently. Or at least that’s what we want the world to think, God forbid we look like we are thirsty or that we aren’t comfortable being where we are. So we wait, painfully, I mean patiently.

I want to challenge you, because there has to be an easier way. I think if we go back to the definition and get to the true essence of what is means to say love is patient, we will begin to find our peace. Accepting and tolerating delay are two different things, with very different outcomes. To accept delay without complaint is to understand that God is still writing your love story. It’s to know that though it tarry, your prince (princess) will come. And you not just wait for it, you anticipate it. It’s the beautiful culmination of a well-orchestrated journey. To simply tolerate delay relieves you of your power in this season. It lends to the notion that you are a victim of your circumstances and you have no control over what is, or isn’t, happening to you. Snap out of it. No one wants to be a victim. It’s not cute, trust me.

Patience is bearing provocation, annoyance, misfortune, delay, hardship, and pain with fortitude (strength of mind), and maintaining calm without complaint, anger or the like.

 There is a difference between being patient as you wait for the Lord to present you as a woman or present the woman to you as the man- and simply not having the opportunity. You aren’t being patient in a drought, you are simply waiting for it to rain. Patience is enduring when your family asks again ‘when are you getting married, honey? Patience is enduring when all of your friends are getting married, and you are ever a bridesmaid but never a bride.

In Our Lives:

Because we love God (and more importantly, we don’t doubt His love for us)-we chose to trust His timing. We bear provocation from people who don’t deserve us, but we give a chance anyway. We face annoyance with being the ONLY single friend from our college group. We endure misfortune that seems like we will never get married all the while combating hardship in trying to remain pure. We overcome pain that sears our hearts but doesn’t touch our minds because we know that God has told us that He will withhold no good thing from us, so we understand that if we are not married, then it is simply not our time for this good thing. We show love in patience, because we haven’t just heard of Him, we intimately know Him.

In Our Relationships:

It is important to remain patience with each other, in love. Your significant other is not your spouse-or at the very least, not yet. There has to be a boundary line. When we start treating them like a spouse, with the same expectations and same benefits (stay with me), the love can begin to wear thin. Simple commitments are not built to withstand the same pressure of a covenant. Irritation usually rears its demanding head as a lack of patience. This comes from an expectation of perfection-not on our parts, of course, but on theirs. We love to judge their shortcomings, while justifying our own. When they don’t live up to expectations that even we can’t meet, we are disappointed, and disappointment leads to irritation. We find ourselves irritated simply being in their presence. In my broken engagement, (yep, plug for you to read ‘NOT Another Singles Book-don’t worry, this won’t be the only one), I got to the point where even his chewing annoyed me. He could do no right, and there was nothing he could do to fix my level of frustration. I had already projected expectations on him of my husband, knowing that he could never fulfill the role, so I became even more irritated. Vicious cycle, but one I couldn’t break, nor even recognize until I realized that I was not patient with him, because I didn’t love him. At least not in the way that would ever sustain an happily ever after.

It’s impossible to practice patience if we hold on to this ‘right person’ myth. We foolishly believe that we won’t need patience when we meet the one because they will never try our patience. This is a lie from the pits, and I challenge you to capture and rebuke it. Even the Disney princesses understood that Prince Charming was never perfect.

Lastly, remember that lust and insecurity rushes, but love isn’t afraid to takes its time. Lust has to dive in headfirst, run full throttle because it never knows when the butterflies will go away, when reality will sink in, and the honeymoon is over. But, love is different. It realizes that this thing will be a marathon not a sprint, that it gets a second wind, and a third and a forth, and it only gets sweeter with time.

Love is characterized as patient first, because I believe that it will drive everything else we do, in love. If we can’t be long-suffering in this time of purification, then we will never be able to grasp the other aspects of this rich chapter that is righteously named God’s Love Chapter.

Let patience have its perfect work, so that you will be mature and complete, lacking nothing. Love is patient…and so are we.

Love Ain’t Just for the Married Folks: Not ANOTHER Love Book Introduction

Published January 4, 2016 by lavoniartryon

Love activates everything within us. It is the most powerful motivating force in the world, and even outside of this world, if we are to believe John 3:16. For God so LOVED the world that He gave his only begotten Son, that those that believe in Him should not perish, but have eternal life. God loved, and then He gave. He teaches us that love is action. It is not stagnant. It sees a problem and immediately makes haste to correct it.

Love is beautiful and universal. You don’t have to speak the same language, or even have to speak at all to feel it. In the far away land of Ashdown Forest, Pooh Bear and Piglet were having a profound conversation. Piglet inquired, ‘How do you spell love, Pooh?’ Pooh contemplated and then responded in only his fashion, ‘you don’t spell it, you feel it.’ Well said, Pooh, well said.

So if love is this powerful, why do we assume that it is only to be experienced in marriage? Why don’t we believe that as Singles, that we can and should experience this emotion? I think because we don’t know how. We haven’t been taught that we are required to express this kind of love in this season. Prayerfully, that’s what this book will give you, the permission to love as a Single. The purpose is to give you an in-depth look at this beautiful, unmatched action and a chance to allow it to play out in every area of your Single life.

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