Day 4: Mama Said There Would Be Days Like This: Getting through Bad Days

Memory Verse: For our momentary affliction (this slight distress of the passing hour) is ever more and more abundantly preparing and producing and achieving for us an everlasting weight of glory (beyond all measure, excessively surpassing all comparisons and all calculations, a vast and transcendent glory and blessedness never to cease!).  2 Corinthians 4:17 (Amp)

Psalm: 77

Task: Make a list of your weeds (bad days) and wheat (good days) in this journey and ask God to give your discernment in how to respond in both. Then take the time to encourage someone that you know is in a storm season-via call, text, post, or tweet. Don’t just pray for them, pray WITH them. Put their initials or first name in the comments and we will stand in agreement with you. #onebody

As we have discovered, contentment in this season (or any season for that matter) is a journey, not a destination. So just like any other journey, there will be pitfalls and roadblocks and detours and just plain bad days. Bad days will come. This is an unavoidable part of this journey, but it doesn’t have to be a negative part of it.

Yesterday may have been a good day, and tomorrow may be a not so good one-from your emotional standpoint, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t purpose in both. God uses trials and tribulations and downright storms to test our faith’s durability, to train us to watch and pray, and prepare us for what is up ahead. Job’s storm was used to prove to the enemy that we could and would still bless God even in struggles and when all things around us were destroyed. He proved that we really desire God’s face and not just what is in His hand. Job’s bad days make it possible for us to learn how to get through ours. David had a bad day when he decided to count the troops against God’s will (2 Samuel 24) and ended up being responsible for the death of 70,000 men because of his disobedience. This was a bad day. But yet God relented and showed mercy.

From these two circumstances we understand that bad days can be of our own doing or simply a result of us being ‘called up’ by God to prove to the enemy that our faith in Him is not circumstantial, but genuine. Either way, we have a choice in those days. We can sit and wallow in misery, or we can build an alter and praise God for his mercy and grace even in the storms.

So what does a bad day look like in relation to Singleness? I believe those bad days come when, although you are satisfied with God, your desire for marriage takes over, and then it’s a struggle to regain your contentment. The key to learning from these days is not to stay there. Realize and recognize that these days come to push us into the arms of a loving Savior that wants to wrap His arms around us and sing over us (Zepheniah 3:17).

In Matthew 13 Jesus tells the masses the Parable of the Wheat and the Weeds.

24 Jesus told them another parable: “The kingdom of heaven is like a man who sowed good seed in his field. 25 But while everyone was sleeping, his enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat, and went away. 26 When the wheat sprouted and formed heads, then the weeds also appeared.

27 “The owner’s servants came to him and said, ‘Sir, didn’t you sow good seed in your field? Where then did the weeds come from?’

28 “‘An enemy did this,’ he replied.

“The servants asked him, ‘Do you want us to go and pull them up?’

29 “‘No,’ he answered, ‘because while you are pulling the weeds, you may uproot the wheat with them. 30 Let both grow together until the harvest. At that time I will tell the harvesters: First collect the weeds and tie them in bundles to be burned; then gather the wheat and bring it into my barn.’”

Jesus then goes on to explain this parable to the disciples:

36 Then he left the crowd and went into the house. His disciples came to him and said, “Explain to us the parable of the weeds in the field.”

37 He answered, “The one who sowed the good seed is the Son of Man. 38 The field is the world, and the good seed stands for the people of the kingdom. The weeds are the people of the evil one, 39 and the enemy who sows them is the devil. The harvest is the end of the age, and the harvesters are angels.

40 “As the weeds are pulled up and burned in the fire, so it will be at the end of the age. 41 The Son of Man will send out his angels, and they will weed out of his kingdom everything that causes sin and all who do evil. 42 They will throw them into the blazing furnace, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. 43 Then the righteous will shine like the sun in the kingdom of their Father. Whoever has ears, let them hear.

I think it is key that Christ only explained this parable to the disciples. Those that were intimate with Him, that communed with Him daily, that spend time with Him. Remember we discussed in Day 1: Divine guidance only comes to prepared hearts. We must have eyes to see and ears to hear (Day 2).

God won’t allow the bad days to not come, because we need to learn how to grow in distress, how to push through the weeds and how to fight for our contentment. Those weeds (bad days) are mixed in with our wheat (good days), but we can rest in the promise that when it’s harvest time (marriage, promotion, business, etc) then our roots will be stronger and we will be all the better because of the adversity.

So don’t pray for God to change your storm. Pray for God to change YOU through your storm. He knows how much you can handle, and just as a silversmith sits before his silver in the fire, God is sitting watching you, and He knows that the fire is hot, but He sees something you can’t. He sees all the impurities being melted away and He is waiting to pull you out at just at the right time-when He can see His reflection, HIS IMAGE in your life (Malachi 3:3). Our bad days may keep coming, or we may keep going back in the fire, because God can’t see His image in us yet. Each trial and temptation, He is calculating and if His response is ‘No, I wouldn’t do that. That doesn’t look like my character. That is not a fruit of the Spirit. Patience has not completed it’s perfect work…’ then you will stay in the fire until you learn to glorify Him not just with your lips, but with your life (Matthew 15:8).

Can God trust you with bad days?

Day 3: God loves Him some you…so you should too!

Memory verse: And the Lord appeared to us from afar saying, ‘I have loved you with an everlasting love, I have drawn you to myself with loving kindness.’ Jeremiah 31:3

Read Psalm 139

Task: Pamper yourself. Treat yourself to a nice lunch today, give yourself a pedicure, fellows spend some time just relaxing-open you a cold ROOT beer and enjoy the afternoon breeze on the patio. Take a long bath (with candles, scented oils). Turn off the TV, sign out of Twitter, off Facebook, and just be with you. Spend some time today just being with you and doing something just for yourself…Go on, you deserve it. (Please share)

God loves Him some you. If He had a wallet, your picture would be in it. You would be highlighted on His refrigerator. He’d wear a shirt everyday with your picture on the front and ‘PROUD PAPA’ on the back. He loves you- completely, unconditionally, irrevocably loves you. At times this is hard to grasp-that the maker of the entire universe, just wants to spend time with you. God wants to commune with you-put your feet up, let your hair down and just talk.

But often times we don’t ‘find time’ to do it. We feel like prayer or quiet time is a chore that we have to fit into our life, instead of a time that we get to cast the cares of our world that we have been carrying on our shoulders- on a broader Back. If Christ could carry the sins of the world, and still get up with all power in His hands-surely He can handle whatever is keeping you stressed out.

So today let it go. Spend some time just relaxing-not thinking, not worrying, not planning out your 5 year strategic plan for success—just be with yourself. I’ve found that those are the times that I find God walking in my garden, when I can get back to the cool of the day (Genesis 3:8). His presence is always there, we just drown it out with our busyness. Busy doesn’t not always equate productivity.

Before I understood the difference of being alone and being lonely, I used to find it difficult to just be…with me. I always had to be doing something. Cleaning, cooking, washing clothes, reading, etc. Now, none of these things are bad things and they all should be done, but when we use it to avoid spending some quality time with ourselves, it becomes a hindrance to our spiritual growth and getting to know ourselves in light of God’s vision. As we saw yesterday, your perspective changes when you ask God to ‘give you eyes to see’ (Matthew 13:11-13, John 16:12-16).

You should miss YOU. I know I did, when I was on a journey of finding myself. We are never lost, I believe we are just hidden under all the lies, conformity, expectations, and fears that others place on us and that we often place on ourselves. I don’t think we can truly know ourselves, unless we spend some time alone with ourselves. In those quiet alone times, God downloads into you vision, peace, guidance, direction—and you begin to realize that you don’t have to work so hard for something that your Daddy already has and WANTS to give to you. You just have to be receptive and ready to receive it.

God is waiting on you…what are you waiting on? Meet Him in the quiet place and share (if you feel lead) what He deposits into you about yourself today.

DAY 2: Contentment isn’t a destination…it’s a journey.

Memory Verse: Exodus 13:17 When Pharaoh let the people go, God did not lead them on the road through the Philistine country, though that was shorter. For God said, “If they face war, they might change their minds and return to Egypt.”

PSALM 73: FOCUS 1-3, 21-28

Task: Take the long way today. Go a different longer route home, to work, to church, school- walk a different path to class. Park at the furthest parking spot from the building and walk. Ask God to give you His eyes to see what He would show you. What does God  reveal to you today?

Many Single people struggle with contentment. What does it mean to be content in Christ? How can you be content with Christ while you still wholeheartedly long for a mate? Am I telling God He’s not enough for me because I desire marriage so strongly? These (or some variation of them) are the questions that many Singles go to bed with at night, and still wake up with no answer. I’ve learned that what we actually perceive as silence, is often the answer to our prayer.

Trust Me.                                                        

The Words are whispered to our hearts so softly that if we aren’t careful, the shouting of our own desires will drown them out. God wants us to trust Him, WITH EVERYTHING, including (especially) our desire to be married. When God is silent, it’s not because He isn’t there. God speaks even in the silence, when you can’t see His face, feel His heart, or even discern His will- Trust HIS Purpose.

Jeremiah 29:11 (this will be a memory verse later on in this challenge) says that ‘I know the thoughts that I think towards you, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you an expected end.’ Even when He doesn’t seem to speak you are still on His mind, and remember He is BUSY with your every step (Psalm 37:23)

When the Israelites were released from Egypt, God lead them the long way, because He knew their hearts, they weren’t strong enough to face war yet.

Delay is not Denial. God recognizes that it takes longer to get Egypt out of us than to get us out of Egypt. You may be physically out of that last relationship, last sin, last misstep, but in your mind-you’re still there. There are certain habits and issues that you are still dealing with that God can’t allow you to take into your promised land. So because He is a God of movement- He will take us on a detour to get to where we need to go, while He works that Egypt mentality out of us.

Delays are for our benefit, not for our harm. Use this journey to find contentment through preparation, tests and training. Allow God to prepare you for marriage-if that’s in His will for you. And if it’s not, then this preparation will enable you to be a better Single souled out for His glory.

God knew that the Israelites would have run back into their slave situations if they saw even the prospect of war, because they still had the slave mindset. You may not be ready yet for that. You may not be strong enough to stand and fight, so God wants to lead you around it. It will take longer but there is so much beauty in the journey that you might never see if you just rush into a relationship.

What are your Egypt mentalities that God is using Singleness to prune out of you, so that you will be complete and made perfect, lacking nothing (James 1:4)? What old habits (sexual immorality, lust, anger, greed, idolatry, selfishness) are you still struggling with that God won’t allow to pollute the Promised Land of marriage?

God honors and protects marriage-because it is a direct symbolism of Christ and the Church. If you aren’t making a very good church right now as a lady- and men, if you don’t even resemble Christ- you are not ready. Stay in the journey and learn what you need and then when it’s God’s time…walk into your Promised Land-whatever it may be.

30 Day Singles Challenge


At times this can seem like a 4 letter word to ourselves and when we explain to someone else that we ‘have it’…

Have any of you heard the response: ‘Oh…you’re SINGLE? Oh, ok. Well, just keep waiting, they will come’.

So, that’s what we do. We wait. And we wait. Then we wait some more. Until, hopefully, one day we wake up and decide to ask the determining question: WHAT am I waiting for? In that question, I believe is our freedom to enjoy this time. When we begin to look at our lives and decide that ‘waiting’ requires action, then we will start to look for those things that we should be doing in this time.

The Bible says: ‘The steps of a good man are directed and established by the Lord when He delights in his way (and He busies Himself with his every step) Psalm 37:23. This scripture is so rich because it reminds us that our lives are being orchestrated by the Author and Perfector of our Faith. Our steps are ordered and directed and established by the Lord Himself, meaning that we can’t have a ‘misstep’ or a ‘mistake’ or an ‘oops’ without Him already knowing about it, and having a plan in place to work it out for our good in the end (Romans 8:28). When He (big H denotes perfect Lord) delights in his (little h denotes imperfect man) way, He will busy Himself with his EVERY step. This Word brings tears to my eyes when I realize that the Creator of the universe will busy HIMSELF around my life. That is mind-blowing to imagine that He cares that much about me. So the very least that I can do is offer up my life as a sacrifice to Him (Romans 12:1-2).

So if every step is ordained because we are living a life that is striving to please Him daily, then He Himself ORDAINED our Singleness. That puts a different spin on it. Whether you are single with no prospects, single and dating, exclusively in a relationship but not yet engaged, or even engaged to be married- you are still single…and you are right where God is ordaining you to be. You are in His will at this moment, which is the safest and sweetest place to be.

But, let’s be honest…sometimes it doesn’t feel sweet. Sometimes it is downright awful…and lonely…and tiring…and sad. Trust me, I know. I’ve been there and I still have those days, but they have become fewer and fewer because I have now realized that I am in His will-so even when it’s not good, it’s WORKING for my good. And that makes it worth it. There is beauty in DESIRING to stay in God’s will even when we don’t understand it or even desire the path that we are on. We desire His will for our lives more than we desire our comfort or the plan that we believe we should be living. Rest in that. You are exactly where you are supposed to be. God hasn’t forgotten you, nor can He misplace you because He is busy with ordering your every step. You are not His keys, or His eyeglasses- you are the beautiful jewel in His crown, the Heir to His righteousness, worthy of trading His son’s perfect life for your imperfect one. He’s got you. Chill out.

So that brings us to this 30 day Singles Challenge and I am probably more excited about it than you are. God is going to reveal so much to us about His will for our lives and His plan for this ordained stage in our journey.

My only requirement is that you pray and open your heart to what God has to say to you. Even if you don’t think that a particular day applies to you, meditate on it, I believe that God is going to share something fresh with you each day.

All 30 days will include a brief devotional, a key scripture to memorize, a Psalm to read, and a challenge or task to do or evaluate about your life. Some may be new to you, and some may just be confirmation of a Word that the Lord has already given you.

This challange will be done on several channels for your convenience:

 twitter: @mysingleseason

Facebook: LaVonia Tryon

 Book Fan Page: NOT Another Singles Book


 weekly updated on my Youtube: @NOTAnotherSingle

Please invite your friends, family and anyone that can benefit from a Word from the Lord (which is everyone) to join us. This Challenge is geared towards Singles, but if you are married-I still believe that God has a Word for you in it as well. ALL ARE WELCOME!

Are you ready to experience the fullness of this unique Season in your life?

Please share your comments, stories, victories and trials throughout this Challenge. This study will be compiled into a FREE book at the end and I would love for your testimony to be shared in it.

Let’s go!

#journeyingtogether… #30daySingle… #NASBook…

Journeying Together…

LaVonia R. Tryon is an Author, Entrepreneur, Public Speaker, and Motivator. A dynamic speaker and session leader, La Vonia is known to captivate her audience with creative and vivid examples as well as humorous crowd interactions.

Professionally she holds a Master’s in Rehabiliative Counseling Psychology and is a Certified Rehabilitation Counselor specializing in Disability Advocacy, Career Services and Educational Consulting.

This multi-faceted woman can’t just be categorized in the professional spectrum for Counseling and Psychology services, for she has taken her professional acumen and coupling with her spiritual discerment-has authored a Singles book ‘NOT Another Singles Book’ as well as it’s accompaning journal ‘Get ‘N BEFORE You Get Out’.

She is the Founder of Healing Hands of HOPE, Inc.- an organization dedicated to developing a common vision, shared goals and coordinated strategies among school districts, community service agencies, families, employers and others to provide optimal services and outcomes for individuals with disabilities.

La Vonia is also a Public Speaker and Owner of But-i-FLY Ministries-a Movement dedicated to transforming peoples’ perspectives; giving them the courage to not just get through life- BUT-to-FLY through it, rising to all that God has called them to be.

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