So you wanna write a book? Tips & Strategies for writing your story…

Have you thought about writing a book, yet can’t figure out where to start?

Do you know that you have a story to tell that will change the world, or even just your corner of the world – but find yourself overwhelmed with the sheer thought of it?

I’ve been there. I’ve stared at a blank screen, an empty notebook page and just stared. Nothing. I knew I had a story and I know that it needs to be told, but I didn’t even know where I would begin…so trust me I know what you are feeling, and thinking, and stressing.

But I also know that burning desire inside of you. I know that drive to birth the book that has been right on the edge for months, for years. The book that you’ve picked up in a burst of creative energy and written 15 pages, then life got messy and you didn’t look at it again for 2 years.

How would you like to stop – stopping? How would you like to FINALLY finish that book? It took me 6 months to write my first book, but 12 years to start the next one because I allowed life to snuff out the drive in me. Through numerous courses, trainings, coaching and books – I’ve learned the 5 best tips and strategies that helped me unbottle the creativity that has always been inside of me, and with this knowledge, I revamped and relaunched my first book and wrote my next 2 in less than 5 months, all claiming Amazon Bestseller status within the launch weekend.

Am I special? Well, yes of course 🙂 But so are you! We all are unique and individual and that’s our superpower, there is no one more you than you, and no one can tell your story the way that you can. So let me help you tell it.

I’m going to share an abbreviated version of my 5 tips here for those who are reading this and saying, ‘Yes, LaVonia’ this is me!’, then if you are really ready to go further and stop allowing your excuses to keep you from reintroducing yourself to the world through your written masterpiece…then you’ll love what’s next.

So what are the tips? If you know me, you know that I LOVE acronyms. So this is no different. I’ll use one that you will remember: WRITE.

  • W – what are you going to write and why are YOU the only one that can write it?
    • This is where you dig deep from the beginning. Your topic has been covered before by someone that is more well known, more influential (for now) than you, so your why has to be so deep that you aren’t dissuaded by the second and third step.
  • R – Routine. Schedule the time that you will write/create and how often.
    • Will you write everyday? 3x a week? For how long? And where? Setting a time and place to write each scheduled day is important and vital to reaching your goal and not allowing another year to go by without getting your book finished. Be realistic when you set this – if you haven’t written in 18 months, believing that you will start writing everyday for an hour, is probably not gonna happen – sorry, not sorry.
  • I – Investigate. One of the major mistakes that creatives make – is giving people what they think they need, instead of doing research on what they actually want.
    • Dale Carnegie states that the only way to influence people is to talk about what they want and how you are the one to help them. This points back to your ‘why’. Why are you the only one qualified to tell this story? Research what others are talking about in your topic/niche market and how they are talking about it. What do people respond to the most? The least? Then use this information and test your target market. Release excerpts and ask for feedback.
  • T- Tone. How do you want to write the story? What tone do you want to portray? Is this formal or personal? Will you write in 1st, 2nd, 3rd person? Are you the narrator or a character? What’s the plight of your targeted reader and how do they need to be addressed?
    • I remember 2 of my favorite reviews of my book (although I love each and every one) , 1 was from a person that I had never met: ‘Reading La Vonia’s book is like having a coffee date with your best friend that knows all your business and isn’t afraid to call you out. ‘ Then another from a closer friend: ‘I read entire paragraphs in La Vonia’s voice. Reading this book was like talking to her directly and she knew everything about me’. Dale Carnegie also said ‘talk to someone about themselves and you will have their attention for hours’. Give people what they want and you will inevitably provide what they need.
  • E – once you’ve gotten content on paper – Elevate your work by bringing other people in on the process. Hiring professional help including editors, copywriters, formatters, illustrators ensures that your book has the best chances of being noticed and appreciated for the work of art that it is.

I’m rooting for you, Boo. I want you to win and I can’t wait to read your story. I want to see you succeed because there are a lot of amazing stories that have yet to be told, let’s not allow yours to be one of them.

Need more help? Have questions and would like me to journey with you? I’m holding a special pop-up Journey class on July 28th for 1.5 hours to go more in depth on these details and have an intimate Q&A with me on how I did it, and how you can too…and I would love for you to join me.

Register below – because this class will sell out! I’m keeping it small so that I can truly pour into each one of you and bridge the gap so that you don’t wait 12 years like I did, to share your Bestseller.

Register here! I’ll see you on the inside.

Slow down, LOVE to slow down love: Putting the fun back into intentional dating.

Navigating dating again, or for the first time can be hard. And nerve-wracking. And unsure. And confusing. And difficult. And (insert your stressor here) cause we all have one.

But it doesn’t have to be. In fact, I want to assert that it shouldn’t be. I’ve learned that when we add undue pressures, stress, expectations and conditions – we take the fun out of it ourselves. Once I had this revelation, I was able to take me (the overanalytical, unrealistic expectation having, rule reciting control freak me) out of it, and I freed me (the fun, energetic, belly laugh and do it often, optimistic, let’s see where this goes me) to actually enjoy the process.

After getting it wrong so many times, I’m determined to get it right this time. I want to share a few tips with you that helped me get out of my head, guard my heart and date in hope. Prayerfully, you gain the same insight that I did.

For the sake of this blog, I’m not talking about courtship – in the sense of ‘I’ve found the one that my soul loves and we are only waiting for COVID to go home, before we can share our love with the world in a horse drawn carriage ceremony’. Once you’ve found (or been found by, but don’t get me started on the misinterpretation of this scripture) the person that you’ve made a conscious and determined decision to do life together, you are out of the dating game – prayerfully for good. So this article might not directly apply to you, but you may still gain some reminders.

Dating should be informative

Look at dating as information gathering and that takes so much of the pressure off. You are free to be you and they are free to be themselves and your goal is to see if it’s a fit. This is an uncontrolled experience that isn’t manipulated to put your representative out there to get the girl, but then show up with a different presentation once you got her. This isn’t a time for us ladies to showcase our most perfect, supportive carefree imitation, when we know that we haven’t actually cultivated this personality. You have my permission to be you, boo. That’s it. Allow the person that has gained your interest to just be themselves. This gives you an opportunity to gather enough data pretty early to determine if this is worth your time or not. And remember, if you don’t fit doesn’t mean that the other person isn’t a good person, just that they’re not a good FIT for you, so no character assassination necessary. ‘We just aren’t a good fit’ – is a whole mood, explanation, and sentence. Then keep it moving.

Dating should be interactive

No one wants a penpal – unless that’s what you do want, and if that’s the case make that clear. We are all busy, and if you aren’t – where’s your life, bro? But that doesn’t mean that if you have willfully entered into the dating arena, that you use that as an excuse to prolong, i.e – waste someone’s time, when you know you have no intent of appropriately interacting with them. Now, what is appropriate? That’s the best part – you both get to determine the level of interactions that are comfortable and appropriate for you both. We all find time for the things that we make a priority, so if the person isn’t making time for you, and excited to do so – then refer to my appropriate exit line in the first tip, and keep it moving. There’s your information. But a word of caution that I recently had to swallow with my own humble pie: this person had a full life WITHOUT you, just a few days, weeks, months before they met you. It’s unrealistic and unfair to expect them to now rearrange everything or most things to give you all their free time. Set times to interact and be clear about the expectations that you have (returned texts, weekly dates, talking every other day, etc) to determine if this fits the other’s expectations and availability as well.

Dating should be intentional

Ain’t nobody got time for games. We are all grown, grown – so here’s the gut and heart check. MAKE. YOUR. INTENTIONS. KNOWN. And as soon as you know them. If you realize that this person isn’t a good fit, because they don’t meet certain characteristics that you would like to be present – tell them that and move on. No one deserves to be kept around as a ‘just maybe’ or if you’ve read ‘NOT Another Singles Book’ (and if you haven’t get it here!) as a potential – just in case you get bored or need your ego stroked by a person that likes you, but it’s a no for you. We don’t treat our brothers and sisters in Christ that way, and that’s what this person is – or at least, should be.

Dating should be interdependent

A relationship should be private, but it should never be a secret. I’m not saying tell everyone about every Tom, Mary, and Shawn that you are interested in, but you should definitely have some trusted friends that you can talk through your feelings and emotions with, as a sounding board and as sound advice. If you are doing or dating someone (I said what I said) and your best friends don’t know about it – there’s your data as well.

Dating should NOT be intense

Back to the whole premise of this blog. Ease up, hon. Take the pressure off and let whatever will develop, develop. Be patient in figuring it out, you don’t need to know his entire family and medical history in the first week, and fellas you don’t get a monopoly of her time because you decided to invest a bit of interest right off the bat. Dating is an adjustment period for both parties, so show grace. Things happen, plans change, emergencies come up – be ok with life getting in the way of some of the best intentions. Use this as data gathering too – Do I still feel like a priority (in a realistic, I just met you yesterday, bruh way) or does something always ‘come up’ when we are planning to interact? Does this person not have the amount of time that I would like to be dedicated to these interactions, and is it negotiable? Remember, no need to blame, shame or guilt a person into squeezing you into their life – just simply exercise your power to leave. That’s ok.

Ladies: show appreciation for what he is doing.

Men: do something to gain the appreciation.

It could all be so simple, don’t make it hard.

Slow down, Love (take your time getting to know someone, the real someone) to slow down love (don’t awaken feelings, emotions, desires and expectations for a relationship that hasn’t built the proper foundation for it).

Let’s journey together…

Journey to Contentment NEW FREE COURSE!!

Welcome to the Journey!

Hello and welcome to the Journey! Watch this short video to get more insight on my heart for this course and what I desire for you to discover during it. 

This is a mini course of three lessons on Contentment and how to get there or stay there. This course is free and will always be free because you can’t afford to not get this information. 

Getting to contentment is the Single most important thing that you will do in your Singles journey (pun intended) because it is the root and foundation of everything else. If you don’t get to contentment in where you are in life, even as you anticipate your next season, you will struggle in every other area. 

In this course I promise you three things:

  1.  To define contentment and tell you why it is the Single most detrimental joy killer to Singles. 
  2. To teach you how to get to contentment by eliminating all of the babble and background noise and getting to know your heart. 
  3. To give you tips on how to maintain your contentment even when your life doesn’t look like you planned. 

In return – I only ask for two things:

  1. That you go all in. Watch each video, download each task, do each activity. Allow this message to sink deep into the good soil of your heart and watch God do what only He can do. 
  2. Leave me a review of the course and if you get ANY value, please share it with a friend. 

This mini course has three modules. I don’t recommend doing them all in one sitting because you aren’t able to really process and adequately dive into the categories, but if that’s how you roll then go ahead! I just ask that you give it your all so that you can get all out of it. 

I’m honored to journey with you. Are you ready?

REGISTER HERE!

La Vonia

Unchecked Single Problems = Unnecessary Married Issues

Go deeper in fixing your Single Problems with the NOT Another Singles Book: The Workbook available here!https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08VLM1R59/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i2

A minister once told me that many of the married couples that he counseled had Single problems that were now showing up as marriage issues. That sunk down deep in me. Digging a bit deeper, I realized he was discussing issues that one or both of the individuals brought into the marriage that they should have dealt with and resolved while Single. Now they had a whole other person to blame their issues on, instead of looking at the man (or woman) in the mirror. This ministered to me, so let it minister to you.

He elaborated that examples of Single problems are bad credit, poor financial planning, no direction in life, excessive shopping habits, low self-esteem, or image issues. Married problems are squeezing the toothpaste from the middle or the bottom, washing the dishes at night or in the morning, or taking off clothes and leaving a trail to the bedroom after work. Let’s unpack that. As a Single you have an unique opportunity to fix those areas in your life that are lacking, or even the areas that are great but you want to grow into phenomenal, without having to take into account someone’s opinions, feelings or input. So if you have areas of your life that you are unhappy with, then take this time and fix you first instead of getting married and expecting someone to deal with at best, and try to heal at worst – the issues that you should have resolved Single.

What does this look like practically…I’m glad you asked. If you don’t understand the value of saving and investing in a future now, then this can be evidenced in your marriage as you believing your mate is stingy and restrictive because he wants to invest one income while living off the other, and you would rather spend it on the newest trend, house, vacation or gadget every month. If you have a jealous streak and think it’s disrespectful every time your girl is shown any attention by the opposite sex, when you get married you will constantly be fighting every Chick-Fila employee for having ‘the pleasure’ of encountering your wife. What does this mean? If you are a jealous person, this won’t magically go away in marriage…you will just have someone to constantly be jealous about. If you haven’t perfected the subtle but vital art of being alone and enjoying your own company, you will end up suffocating your spouse or feeling neglected when they have healthy interests that include you. Issues that you don’t face and deal with as a Single, will cause unnecessary stress and strife in your marriage because you will seek to get from a spouse only what God can provide.

Marriage is hard enough without your added baggage that you should’ve taken the time to unpack during the time when it was just you. Trust me.

DAY 11: Cast off into the Deep End

NOT Another Singles Devotional Excerpt

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MEMORIZE: Proverbs 19:21  Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but the counsel of the Lord will stand.

READ: Psalm 127

CHALLENGE #11: Think of your “list”’, those characteristics and traits that you believe your spouse must have, or if you are like former me, unfold your 3 page list from your journal. Concentrate on one of the shallowest desires that you have, then ask God to allow you to dig deeper. Replace it with a more significant trait, a deeper one.

            THE LIST. Everyone has one, even if you won’t admit it, you have one. Those essentials characteristics that you want your spouse to embody. Some of them are very valid desires and preferences, and I don’t think that there is anything necessarily wrong with having these kinds of expectations. For example, I want my husband to have a great relationship with his father because I want to dance with him at our wedding, and it would be nice to call someone Dad after healing from 15 years of rejection by my own. This is a noble desire, and one that I truly want the Lord to fulfill, but I am spiritually mature enough to know that if God does not grant it, it’s because He has a better plan for me, not because He is withholding something from me. Our Heavenly Father gives His children good gifts. If he does not fulfill a desire that is on my list, it’s because it does not coincide with a need that is already on His predestined list for me.

            In Luke 5:1-11, Christ calls His first disciples, Simon Peter, James and John as they fish. Jesus tells them, “put out into the deep water and let down your nets for a catch.” Peter immediately questions Christ (he was always questioning something, huh?), and informs Him that they had been fishing all night long and still caught nothing. “But nevertheless,” Peter said that at Christ’s word, he would cast the nets.

            I don’t believe that Peter decided to follow Christ’s directions because he believed Him, I believe he initially did it to prove to Jesus that He was wrong. Peter and Zebedee’s sons (James and John) were fishermen by trade so they had been doing this for a while and they knew all the tricks of the trade. They were experts, with two Olympic gold medals in fishing to show for it. They didn’t need no “preacher” telling them how to do their job; but yet, Peter cast the net. Even in Peter’s doubts, there was something about the nature of Jesus that made him do what Christ said, even though he knew it wouldn’t work. And lo and behold, they caught more fish than they could haul in.

Now let’s relate that to our list of ‘demands’ for our spouse: How often do we consciously or subconsciously tell God we can pick a better mate for ourselves than He can? We do this by getting into a relationship that God has not ordained nor arranged, but one that we think meets the criteria of most of our list, so we jump in. Then, we bring that relationship to God when it isn’t going the way we believe it should go and ask God to fix it. In my spiritual mind, I hear God saying, “I didn’t give that to you, so I’m the reason it’s falling apart. I won’t fix something I didn’t ordain for you to have in the first place.” So we sit and watch our relationship crumble, and then we blame God for not bending to our will instead of repenting for not submitting to His. I’ve often, and you as well if you are mature enough to admit it, asked God to bless my choices on the backend, instead of trusting Him enough to choose my blessings that he has already ordained for me. This “list” has gotten me into some bad relationships and I have the healed wounds and beauty scars to prove it. Even if you don’t think the path God is taking you on is right, trust that He is right. Psalm 119:68 says “The Lord is good and He does good things”. He knows what He is talking about. He has never been unsure about His plans for you. He wooed and captured your heart, didn’t He? You can trust Him to take that same care in orchestrating your union.

            I’m sure you can understand how this translates into how we should now approach relationships. Many of us have been dating for a while. I labeled myself as a reformed serial monogamist, because I was always in a relationship, coming out of one, going into another, or had a least three potentials floating around, waiting on their chance. Thanks be to God for deliverance. We often think we know what we want in a mate, those essential characteristics that a spouse need to embody for them to be compatible for us. In a way, we are telling Christ that we can pick a better mate for ourselves, when we don’t consult with Him before we pick out the China patterns and send the save the dates.

            As I earlier stated we often ask God to bless our choice, instead of waiting on Him to choose our blessing. What does this mean? It means that we will find the best man or woman that fits the characteristics on our list (whether it is written or mental), and then ask God to bless that relationship, as opposed to asking God to ordain the meeting of our mate. If we would ask first, we wouldn’t need to come behind asking Him to bless our will, because we waited for His.

            Vow to do this with your next relationship and see the difference. Allow God to orchestrate the initial meeting and follow His specific directions throughout the entire relationship and see how much deeper the connection is.

            Dig in deeper, forget those things that you think you want and allow God to give you what you need. If you hold too tightly to your own agenda, your hand isn’t open for God to give you His Will. Don’t spend any more time as the early disciples did, fishing all night and catching nothing. Use God’s Provisional System to direct you — then and only then, “let down your net” once more to catch the fish that He has waiting for you.

You’ve tried it your way this long. How is that working out for you? Why not try it His way now?

Get your copy here:

Should you be looking & What you will find: Analysis of Proverbs 18:22

Proverbs 18:22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing and inherits the favor of the Lord.

Now everyone knows this scripture, but have you ever researched it? We have been taught that
this clarifies that THE MAN is supposed to FIND the WIFE, and we use it to justify why a
woman should not be looking for a man. Now on the superficial, this is one interpretation of the
scripture, but it goes so much deeper than just this. Let’s take it word for word:

HE: On first thought, this is thought to mean just a man…But looking deeper this is the same HE
that is used to describe Adam, Joseph and David. This HE (whoso) is not just a male, but this is a
male that has the mental capabilities of love, one that is set financially, emotionally, mentally,
and physically to provide for a wife. The mental capacity to love comes from many sources; but
it DOES NOT come from emotion. If love is only based on emotions, then what happens when
the butterflies fade away? When in the heat of an argument or the throes of lust you forget that
you have made a conscious decision to love another person. If it were merely an emotion, the
divorce rate would be a lot higher. The Hebrew here refers specifically to men who have reached
the mental capacity to love a woman with agape love- as God intended. This is a HE that is
prepared for the responsibility of a wife and a family. The man who separates himself and seeks
wisdom. HE must be ready for the serious and great task of loving a woman as Christ loves the
Church, respecting her and honoring her as the weaker partner. (1 Peter 3:7) This HE is one who
is serving the Lord in full capacity NOW as a single male. From this interpretation, many males
don’t fit the characteristics of the HE, so therefore should not be looking.

That FINDS: Now this word is interesting because it does not take from the definition of the act
of physically searching for something. Even Webster has the right definition: to discover or
perceive after consideration; to come upon by chance; to become aware of, or discover (oneself),
as being in a condition or location. WOW!! This means that IF you are in your lane, seeking the
Lord, then you may happen to come upon, or discover your wife or husband to be, while in your
lane, going in the same direction. Joseph was given his wife. Adam and David likewise did
nothing to deserve their wives. You are directly focused on pursuing God and on the path that he
has set, and when you are in the right location and condition, you may happen upon that
appointed person.

A WIFE: Now this is not just referring to just a female. But this is referring to a woman that is
worthy to be called by such a honorable name. A wife is esteemed, so therefore this label will not
apply to all women. This wife is a jewel of great value, a rare jewel; he has found that one which
will not only contribute more than anything to his comfort in this life, but will forward him in the
way to heaven. This means if you are not praying and serving God now, single- you probably
won’t start magically when you get married. It also refers to taking care of the responsibilities of
the household and fulfilling your wifely roles-cooking, cleaning, caring for the family,e tc. (For
those of you that are all for the Women’s Movement, Liberations, Equal Responsibilities and
Roles-It may work (and should) in the Office World, but has no relevance or authority over
God’s Word. WE STILL HAVE ROLES (Proverbs 31:10-31, Titus 2:4-5, Ephesians 5:22.I Peter
3:1-6) I didn’t write it, I’m just quoting it! This definition also has to do with THE MAN’s

capacity to love that particular woman! “A good wife” is a woman the man recognizes as one
whom he has the mental capacity to love. This is the woman he would protect and honor at all
cost, above everything below God-spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically.

Finds a GOOD THING: Now just because you are a female, and you get married, doesn’t mean
that you will be a ‘good thing.’ In order to meet these qualifications you have to first meet the
criteria of a WIFE. That means you also have to have your stuff together, and not just sitting
around waiting on your life to start when your ‘Boaz’ shows up. To be FOUND, you have to be
traveling in the same direction that HE was traveling-a path directed and ordained for God’s
glory. Proverbs 31:12 She brings him GOOD all the days of his life. So are you living as a good
thing right now? The Hebrew goes on to infer that the only way a man can, through the ultimate
source of his soul, give his mental capacity of love to a woman, is if he recognizes in her, the
ability to respond and accept his love. Women are designed by God to be the responders to a
man’s love.

And inherits the FAVOR of the Lord: This is one of those ‘if, then’ clauses. IF, all the criteria are
met before the ‘comma’, then you will receive the blessings after it. Favor – Granted to her, and
bestowed upon him, not by his own diligence, but by God’s good providence. Meaning that you
can’t sway God’s hand or speed up his timing, but when and if He so sees fit, he will bestow it
upon you.

I pray that you received this as a Word and use it to change your mindset and focus, if you (as I
did) misinterpretated this scripture, or confirmation if this has already been revealed to you.

References: The Hebrew Bible, Pastor Monty Rainey
Excerpt from NOT another Singles Book by La Vonia R. Tryon
Find us on facebook @NOT Another Singles Book

FREE MASTERCLASS TONIGHT!!

You don’t want to miss this FREE event.

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COME JOURNEY WITH US…

Single NOT Alone weekly experiences began in January. SNA is a monthly coaching and mentor call that takes 4 major topics Single women experience and breaks them into relevant and practical tips with insightful dialogue.

If you missed January, you definitely don’t want to miss the next Cohort. February is guaranteed to be even better as we spend the month talking about love and why it’s not as far off as we think, and how to truly enjoy EVERY aspect of love as a Single.

This is the February PRE-PARTY! This call will be an opportunity for you to meet the Author, get an overview of the experience with a detailed look at January’s subject matter, as well as an opportunity for Q&A and open discussion on relationships, contentment, purpose and personal development.

LaVonia R. Tryon is a Counselor and Mentor with over 15 years in mental health experience, and twice as much in relational experiences. A Reformed Serial Monogamist, she lived most of her adult life either being in a relationship, coming out of a relationship, or going into another situationship. Her hilarious takes on her struggles are wittingly expressed as your lessons. This session will not disappoint!

Come join like-minded ladies for an experience that will set you on the path to getting everything that is coming to you in 2021.

https://mailchi.mp/6b5437464c04/single-not-alone-february-kickoff

You might be out of Egypt, but is Egypt out of you?

Excerpt from NOT Another Singles Devotional Feb 2021:

“When the Israelites were released from Egypt, God lead them the long way, because He knew their hearts weren’t strong enough to face war yet. In the same way for us Singles, delay is not denial. God recognizes that it takes longer to get Egypt out of us than to get us out of Egypt. You may be physically out of that last relationship, last sin, last misstep, but in your mind, you’re still there.

There are certain habits and issues you are still dealing with that God can’t allow you to take into your Promised Land. Because He is a God of movement, He will take us on a detour to get to where we need to go, while He works that Egypt mentality out of us.

God knew that the Israelites would have run back into their slave situations if they saw even the prospect of war, because they still had the slave mindset. Likewise, you may not be ready for that. You may not be strong enough to stand and fight for your peace, for your contentment, for your joy – for whatever it is that the enemy will use to convince you that God has forgotten you; so, God desires to lead you around it. It will take longer, but there is so much beauty in the journey that you might never see if you just rush into a relationship.”

#notanothersingle

#notanotherseries

#fromknowledgetowisdom

#JourneyingTogether#Devotional

2020 in Review – oh what a year…

This year has been one for the books – and I’ve been broken and blessed through it all. Journey with me, through a few of the highs and lows…

  1. January – secretly filed for divorce from my emotionally abusive, adulterous, dishonest now ex-husband.
  2. February – gained weight, emotionally drained, depressed and probably in one of my lowest states. Bought a new car. Gave my old car to my brother.
  3. March – experienced a lockdown due to Covid-19. Started working from home, but lost my second source of income.
  4. April – drew closer to God and knew that I needed help to get through this. Started therapy and getting mentor counseling.
  5. May – joined KRAVE Fitness – but didn’t really invest. Was voted Chaplain of my sorority and struggled because even praying for myself was a struggle daily. My doubt and faith were low and mentally – I just couldn’t.
  6. June – joined KRAVE Glow up monthly challenge and got a group of the most loving, accepting, encouraging and motivating women as family. First time I openly discussed my divorce and finally started the healing process – instead of covering and numbing. Lost 20 lbs.
  7. July – dug into my mental and physical health FULL FORCE. Forgave myself for the my part in the divorce, released myself from the shame that wasn’t mine to carry. Lost 12 lbs.
  8. August – created safe spaces in my life and limits in areas to continue healing. DIVORCE WAS FINALIZED. Lost 13 lbs. Decided to relaunch my first book after 7 years.
  9. September – found out about more deceit by my ex-husband and realized my indifference. Prayed for mercy instead of justice for him and rested in the freedom that forgiveness gave me. Joined Self-Publishing school and my motivation and creativity was restored and refreshed like never before. Registered for my NCE exam to began Licensed Professional Counselor process.
  10. October – relaunched NOT Another Singles Book. Did a Launch party with several other creatives and feel more in love with the woman that I have become, after the storm. Book reached #1 Amazon Best-seller in 4 categories and sold over 500 copies in the first 2 weeks (2nd source of income). Continued to gain muscle and heal my relationship with food. No more numbing and hiding – learned to feel the feelings.
  11. November – launched paperback book. Started NOT Another Singles Workbook, revamped book, marketing of book. Hosted my first (of this kind) Mentorship call for Single women – 50 registrants (this was a big deal) – lost a total of 52 lbs. Published second book ‘What do the Single do at Christmas’. Joined EVERYDAY Seminary with Dr. Dharius Daniels.
  12. December – began learning to trade (3rd source of income). Launched Single NOT Alone group calls for Single women, had intro call and subscribers (4th source of income). Learned the meaning of rest and regrouping. Fell more in love with myself and released my strength. God healed the wounds. My scars are now beauty marks. Gave a crazy faith offering with Transformation Church.

There are so many other things that I can highlight/recap including:

1. I read 18-20 books this year –working a full-time job, getting a divorce, creating multiple streams of income, and healing my mental health – that’s a lot.

2. I now have 4 streams of income – they all will bring me income in each month of 2021. I will create 3 more this year.

3. I’m using my struggle as other women’s lessons to walk them through the healing that the Lord was gracious and faithful enough to pull me through.

4. I’m open to dating again. Now if I were to tell you the whole Lifetime movie (and not the Christmas kind) of my marriage, this is a very big deal.

5. I kept alive my first plant – ever, in my life. And grew my own food – kale.

6.  I see my 94 yo grandma everyday and hug her and play bingo and do puzzles with her. This is joy.

7. I truly learned the meaning of Psalm 147:3 ‘God heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds’

I’m still here. I’m still whole. Just because it’s not how it used to be – doesn’t mean that it’s not exactly how it’s SUPPOSED to be.

2021 – oh, what a journey you will be.

Day 6 of MISSMas: Covid Changes Everything

On the 6th Day of MISSMas, I gave to me the gift of … The Corona Chronicles.

As I decided to write this post, I realize that COVID truly has changed everything. Here in the United States, many officials and official sources have encouraged us to postpone or cancel all together our holiday gatherings due to the rising COVID-19 cases. Which will affect our holiday plans, no matter who you are.

No one believed that starting 2020, we would be ending it the way that we are. It has been almost 11 months since we have gone into some level of shut down and the things that we took for granted, like going into the grocery store or to the gym, have become foreign to us. No matter what stream of thought you ascribe to, Coronavirus has affected your life in some way. Many people have lost jobs, had to share Wi-Fi with teleworkers and kids doing homeschool, gained weight, lost weight, read a book, wrote a book and many other numerous things that we never had the time to do before March.

As Singles, one thing is clear, COVID has made us hyper aware of our Singleness. We have probably spent more time alone than we have in the past, and it may have been a struggle to really understand being comfortable alone without being overwhelmed with a sense of loneliness.   This is a fine art and not one that is easily mastered. We spend  so much of our time being busy instead of productive that being forced to slow down and spend time with ourselves, either gave us time to be introspective and do some internal work, or it made  us extremely uncomfortable  in our own skin; in our own homes. Hopefully, you are the former and you have used this time to fall more in love with yourself and really hone into your purpose. But if you are in the later and this pandemic has been particularly hard on you, my prayer is that these 12 Days of MISSMas bring you hope and a different outlook. I would love to connect with you more and walk you through the beautiful journey that is Singleness. Please connect with me at lavonia@lavoniartryon.com to book a free coaching call. No one should be Single alone.

As Coronavirus changes the way we view the world and each other, we have choices. We can choose to be defeated and accept that we will be alone forever unless the Amazon delivery person is really cute, or we can turn our focus off of the one thing that we think we are missing and focus on everything that we do have. As Singles, we often rock our own contentment boat by focusing on the wrong things, and not keeping the main thing – the main thing. As a Single, during a global pandemic you have a unique advantage that many people don’t have. No distractions, or at least less than your married counterparts.

For the Singles without children – how are you spending your time? Since the social life has either diminished or at least changed shapes, what productive activities have you added that will cause multiplication in your life? Have you been able to build your savings account? Are you focused on your health and wellness and you’ve finally started to use that home gym that has been collecting dust in your garage? Have you built your career and professional resume? Started a business? Picked up a hobby? Learned a new language? Wrote a book? Read a book? This list isn’t meant to make you feel like you haven’t done enough, in fact it was created for just the opposite. You have a unique opportunity in this time to come out better than you went it. Don’t waste it on Netflix binges.

For the Singles with children – I can only imagine some of the stress that you may be under. Especially if you must homeschool your kid(s), work, take care of the household and have any expectation to bathe that day as well. Although I can’t personally relate to your struggle, I can speak to your strength. You got this, sis. You are making a difference, brother. Your children will rise up and call you blessed. Reach out to your support system. If you have someone that is ‘in your bubble’ – meaning someone that you have either quarantined with or that is in a safe environment who can babysit for a bit, take advantage of it. We are a nation and a generation that has this aversion to asking for help. I want to call you out on that and call that out of you. It’s not strength to struggle when there is help available; it’s pride. Use your village so that you can get some time for yourself to recharge and reconnect with you – the you that is enhanced not hindered by the unique experiences that you have been trusted with as a Single parent. Get creative. Even if you can’t physically get to someone, I had a friend that gave the suggestion of doing a Zoom call with her friend’s kid so that she could go take a long bath. Technology is wonderful, and I’d love to see the LEGO castle that your child has built or to read them a book, so I’m sure that you have someone in your community who would love to as well. Show yourself strong and reach out.

COVID-19 Changes Everything

As I decided to write this book, I realized that COVID truly has changed everything. Here in the United States, many officials and official sources have encouraged us to postpone or cancel all together our holiday gatherings due to the rising COVID-19 cases. This book isn’t a political or health stance, and I offer no opinion or advice about either route, I only plead that whatever you choose to do that you stay safe. And that you think beyond yourself and think about those vulnerable around you as you make the best decisions for you and your family.

No one believed that starting 2020, we would be ending it the way that we are. It has been almost 10 months since we have gone into some level of shut down and the things that we took for granted, like going into the grocery store or to the gym, have become foreign to us. No matter what stream of thought you ascribe to, Coronavirus has affected your life in some way. Many people have lost jobs, had to share Wi-Fi with teleworkers and kids doing homeschool, gained weight, lost weight, read a book, wrote a book and many other numerous things that we never had the time to do before March.

As Singles, one thing is clear, COVID has made us hyper aware of our Singleness. We have probably spent more time alone than we have in the past, and it may have been a struggle to really understand being comfortable alone without being overwhelmed with a sense of loneliness.   This is a fine art and not one that is easily mastered. We spend  so much of our time being busy instead of productive that being forced to slow down and spend time with ourselves, either gave us time to be introspective and do some internal work, or it made  us extremely uncomfortable  in our own skin; in our own homes. Hopefully, you are the former and you have used this time to fall more in love with yourself and really hone into your purpose. But if you are in the later and this pandemic has been particularly hard on you, my prayer is that this mini-book brings you hope and a different outlook. I would love to connect with you more and walk you through the beautiful journey that is Singleness. Please connect with me at lavonia@lavoniartryon.com to book a free coaching call. No one should be Single alone.

As Coronavirus changes the way we view the world and each other, we have choices. We can choose to be defeated and accept that we will be alone forever unless the Amazon delivery person is really cute, or we can turn our focus off of the one thing that we think we are missing and focus on everything that we do have. As Singles, we often rock our own contentment boat by focusing on the wrong things, and not keeping the main thing – the main thing. As a Single, during a global pandemic you have a unique advantage that many people don’t have. No distractions, or at least less than your married counterparts.

For the Singles without children – how are you spending your time? Since the social life has either diminished or at least changed shapes, what productive activities have you added that will cause multiplication in your life? Have you been able to build your savings account? Are you focused on your health and wellness and you’ve finally started to use that home gym that has been collecting dust in your garage? Have you built your career and professional resume? Started a business? Picked up a hobby? Learned a new language? Wrote a book? Read a book? This list isn’t meant to make you feel like you haven’t done enough, in fact it was created for just the opposite. You have a unique opportunity in this time to come out better than you went it. Don’t waste it on Netflix binges.

For the Singles with children – I can only imagine some of the stress that you may be under. Especially if you must homeschool your kid(s), work, take care of the household and have any expectation to bathe that day as well. Although I can’t personally relate to your struggle, I can speak to your strength. You got this, sis. You are making a difference, brother. Your children will rise up and call you blessed. Reach out to your support system. If you have someone that is ‘in your bubble’ – meaning someone that you have either quarantined with or that is in a safe environment who can babysit for a bit, take advantage of it. We are a nation and a generation that has this aversion to asking for help. I want to call you out on that and call that out of you. It’s not strength to struggle when there is help available; it’s pride. Use your village so that you can get some time for yourself to recharge and reconnect with you – the you that is enhanced not hindered by the unique experiences that you have been trusted with as a Single parent. Get creative. Even if you can’t physically get to someone, I had a friend that gave the suggestion of doing a Zoom call with her friend’s kid so that she could go take a long bath. Technology is wonderful, and I’d love to see the LEGO castle that your child has built or to read them a book, so I’m sure that you have someone in your community who would love to as well. Show yourself strong and reach out.

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