Today marks the 2 year anniversary of my divorce. And I’m GRATEFUL.

Sounds crazy, right? Why would someone willfully and giddily celebrate being divorce? When your marriage was hell and you begged for the last 2 years of it for God to change something – to the point that you were in so much emotional pain that you didn’t even care what the result was as long as it was different from what you were currently experiencing – then you would understand why today is a day to celebrate.

Divorce is a separation of a soul tie that was meant to last forever. And it hurts. I have commented before that divorce in some ways is harder than the death of a spouse. Why? How?

Because in death, the person isn’t choosing to be apart – but in divorce, it’s a conscious decision to still be on this earth and make a choice that is different from the one that you made on the altar. It’s a choice that one day I said ‘let no man put asunder’ and now it’s today when I realize that I was that man or woman.

I don’t believe that I serve a God that caused the pain of my divorce – I believe that choices made and a life that was unyielded to the Holy Spirit was the culprit – but I truly believe that God employed it. God put my pain on his payroll and said, ‘Watch what beauty I can make out of these ashes’… and what a beautiful masterpiece He has created.

Out of my pain, out of my heartache, out of my ashes – God birthed a ministry that has changed and encouraged hundreds of women and I know that He is preparing the harvest for thousands more. Through my obedience of growing from the pain, of harnessing it and allowing it to be molded into a fire deep in my belly – God has given me a desire and wisdom to reach those women that feel like they’ve been forgotten by God, failed by God, faithful only to be disappointed by God and now are fearful of ‘what’s next’.

I am their ambassador. I am a light pointing to The Light.

I am a beacon of hope crying out: You are not alone. This will not be the end of your love story.

God has confirmed in life-changing ways my purpose and ministry. God has sent women to be encouraged, inspired, empowered to take their power back.

Recently, God used a DM to show me how far He’s brought me. I was contacted by a woman that inquired for advice on a very personal level – and my first response was not out of bitterness or anger – but compassion. It’s never about the man – it’s always about the woman that I can save from the same heartache that I had to heal. God gave me wisdom and I give Him glory. She’s walking free and my fire is reignited and purpose is even more secure.

As I remarked on my 1 year divorce anniversary – I pray for the man that I married and I pray for the man that I divorced. I pray that God will reconcile the two in Him and I pray that he allows God to heal the places that are bleeding on others. Hurt people hurt people – and he’s hurting. Healing is available, even if he never asks. But I pray that he does. I have no hell to send my ex to or heaven to give him – but I know I serve a Gracious and Just God and I’d much rather he receives the former than the latter.

The pain that I experienced at my ex-husband’s hands is FAR OUTWEIGHED by the glory that God is getting out of my open ones. I’m free, I’m healed, I’m healthy, I’m whole.

And I am grateful.

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