I really hope that this is understood. I sincerely hope that my heart is heard in this. I know some people may get offended by this, and good. Hopefully those of you that find yourself in this category, get offended enough to do one of two things: 1. Start coming correct OR 2. Stop coming at all.
Many of y’all may not be ready to be this real, and still say Amen, so if that’s you, then you might want to stop reading right now…for the rest of y’all…leggo.
Here’s the thing…
There’s a worldly term called a ‘Fboy’. Yep, you know what the F is for. This is a guy that literally comes for himself, he has no intention to do right by you, and maybe not any girl at this point, but he still lurks into your life, stirs up your emotions, get you sucked in and attached, and then catches ghost. It’s like his sole purpose is to see if he can get you, and he will often pursue the heck out of you to get your attention. Work overtime to prove that he is worthy of you, that is – until he gets you. Then a switch flips, and the things he did to get you become a foreign language and it’s like he does the opposite, all the while trying to convince you that YOU are the problem. Like your expecting of him to even remotely live up to the man that he pretended to be to get your attention, is preposterous. In this case, the F has now changed to, Bruh, get the… yeah, you understand me.
So recently I was trying to come up with a word that would describe a Fboy but a man that’s in the church. Talking to friend, we came up with an ‘Lboy.’ L stands for Lucifer. I don’t think there’s any other way to describe a dude that is in the church supposedly loves God, maybe a minister, but definitely serving in ministry, yet he’s coming for girls knowing he has no intention of actually developing a relationship with them. John 8:44 says ‘You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.’ Bruh, if this don’t hit the nail right on his slimy puny head! Lies flow freely from his lips as he woos you with his servant’s heart, but serpent tendencies.
What I will never understand is why do the Lboys come for girls that they know are looking for a relationship? They prey on the women looking for a man to pursue them, those looking for the promise of what Christ tells us to wait for — an example of what the church tells us to wait for. Why do these dudes come for these girls? Why not try for a girl that just came to the church to get a form of godliness but denying the power of it? Why not seek out the girls that don’t really want you because you’re Christian but they want you because they can tell Mama that you Christian, but they really know how you are behind closed doors? Here’s the answer I’ve come up with. Because these girls are too easy. They don’t require a challenge and they don’t satisfy that innate pull that says ‘this is the girl you SHOULD be with, even if you aren’t man enough to be worthy of her’. The girls that these Lboys should be going for would accept them for who that are, and not call them to be something different, something more. Those girls would accept your inconsistencies, your lies, your lack of pursuit, your broken promises and dates, your ‘I’ll call you right back’ turning into 2 days, your ‘my phone died, but I just saw you post on Snapchat’ thinly veiled tactics. So of course you won’t come for them. They know that they are an option and not the priority, but these women (God bless their hearts), haven’t realized their worth yet, so they accept this because they have believed the lies of your father that tell them that they can’t do better than you. B, please.
So on behalf of all the tired women that know their worth, and are exhausted with your foolishness, go get you a chick that ain’t talking bout nothing, and leave us the hell alone. Real talk. With everything in me, leave me the hell alone. If you not talking about pursuing us, if you not talking about putting forth the effort and the time that it will take to actually get to know us, leave us be. I mean this with every fiber of my being. I’m tired of hearing women, my friends and loves, talking about meeting a dude that supposedly loves God, I mean love the Lord and serving in church and doing all this and that, and getting her hopes up, not due to created fantasies, but actually believing that a guy would actually mean what he says. Then turn around a couple weeks later and this dude has either tried to sleep with her, or is talking to several other girls at the same time or treating her like an option and not a priority. He’s started to not honor her, not pursue her, and now she is doubting herself and trying to find the warning signs that she missed. Many times, we do miss the warning signs, but sometimes, y’all jokers show up like a traffic jam at 2am, completely unexpected. You hide yourself well, and then when it’s time to showup, we realize all too quickly, that you have absolutely no substance. Bruh, how do you go to sleep at night? How do you stand up and minister in the morning, knowing that your lifestyle is not conducive to what you’re saying? You don’t feel any conviction? Like nothing? I don’t understand and to be honest I really don’t want to understand, may I never be able to relate to that mentality. But I must say it and please listen to me…if you not talking about nothing if you don’t really want a woman worthy of the man that you pretended to be…
I’ve seen this too often and it needs to be addressed. I sincerely wish more men that are truly living Godly and looking to pursue a wife, would stand up and say this. Because the truth is, they aren’t just messing with the women’s hearts, they are messing with your future wife’s heart. They are causing pain and wounds, that God will have to heal, before she can be ready for you. They are causing trust issues that, even after getting healed, will still fight to try to show up in your marriage. They are making women skeptical of giving YOU a chance, because her heart has been mangled more in the church, than in the world. Speak up, grab a young man and teach him. Don’t look away and dismiss it as ‘I would never do that’, because real talk, this Lboy is just as much your problem as he is ours.*
*Grammatical errors intentional to add emphasis*