This morning I woke up with such cheer and excitement for Christmas. I love the holidays. Although my family aren’t really into big holiday festivities, in my heart I’d celebrate every holiday on the calendar, and others just because. But Christmas is different. It’s special. It has the charm and sweetness of expectation that comes with our promise of our Savior. I.Love.Christmas.
Then something happened. I have been watching holiday movies since Thanksgiving. You know the ones, really cheesy acting and the guy always gets the girl in the end, all centered around some Christmas dilemma. I enjoy watching those and they always leave me in a great mood. But as I started to get dressed, the tears started to fall. The worst part was that at first, I couldn’t figure out why. Then I realized… at the beginning of this year, I didn’t anticipate spending Christmas alone. I didn’t really think about it or plan it out, but I realize that this isn’t what I had in mind. In the plan for my life, I didn’t anticipate being 34 and still not spending Christmas with my own family, or at least heading in that direction. I had to come to grips with, although I’m satisfied with Christ, I do want a family of my own. Today was the reminder that it’s not happening on my timeline.
I figured that if I am feeling this way, there are probably at least a hundred other people feeling the same way, but only a few brave souls will admit it. So…what do the lonely do at Christmas? I’m glad you asked. They remember the true reason for Christmas. Journey with me.
- C – Confess
Admitting that you are lonely at this moment is hard. You are trained to believe that if you complain or show that you are unhappy in one area, as Christians, we are are looked at as being dissatisfied with what God has given you. This isn’t always the case. You can be happy in your season, but still want the next one. Or (gasp) you can be unhappy. It’s ok to not be ok. Confess that to Christ and trust that He is strong enough to handle your fears, worries, hurts, disappointments.
- H – Here
Don’t forget to focus on the here. Don’t miss out on what you do have, while looking forward to what you have. You are blessed. You are loved, by family and friends. You are having a lonely spell…confess it and then get back to your here. Don’t allow it to steal the joy that you have in this moment
- R- Reevaluate
Why are you sad? Lonely? Disappointed? Because of a promise that God didn’t keep? That can’t be it, because God’s promises are yes and amen. So it must be because you haven’t received something that YOU thought you should have right now. You aren’t disappointed because God hasn’t shown up, you are disappointed that He refuses to operate on your timeline. Re-evaluate your expectations, and realign your will with His.
- I – It’s not a Hallmark/ABC Family Movie
It’s a Wonderful Life. IT IS, but it’s also a movie. God doesn’t deal in fairy tales, He deals in divine appointments, subjected wills and promises that no man can break. That’s so much better than “Happily ever after”…you have eternity with your Lover. Stop wanting to look like the movies and go live your reality,
- S – Stop
STOP Comparing your life with others. God says “I know the plans I have for you”. He is a personal God. Don’t give the enemy your joy by refusing to rejoice with your friends and family that are getting married, engaged, having babies. ‘Tis the season. You will regret not celebrating with them. Instead of saying “God why not me?”, change it to “God you are not a respecter of persons, I rejoice with my brother/sister and look forward to the day they will rejoice with me”
- T – Time
If you need to get away, get away. Give yourself time to deal with your lonely spell. Don’t push it under the rug, bring it to the surface and DEAL WITH IT. Time puts things into perspective and gives you the opportunity to face everything that you are feeling. Respect it.
- M – Miss Me
Tell your friends, family to miss you with all that “oh, still single? when you bringing some babies here? what happened to …?” MISS ME. Pass me the cranberry sauce and miss me with all that…’nough said.
- A – Anticipate
Anticipate the new year. God was good to you this year, because he is a Good, Good Father. Don’t be afraid to ask for you want, pray and intercede for what you need, and commit to look for His hand throughout your entire year.
- S – Start
It’s ok to be lonely at Christmas, but don’t allow it to make you miss the true reason and beauty in this season. Pray, cry if you want, then get it-wash your face, get dressed and go get full…Christmas is waiting…