Memory Verse: Life and Death lie in the power of the tongue, and those that love it will eat of its fruit. Proverbs 18:21
Challenge: Think about the last person that you kissed. How long did the relationship last? Was there even a relationship? Can you recall how many people you have shared this act? After reading this challenge; re-evaluate your view of kissing and ask the Lord to help you set and follow His standards.
Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Now imagine doing that with someone directly in your face. What happens? Your inhaled oxygen is drawn from their exhaled carbon dioxide. Intimate, huh? (And a bit humbling to think that what someone doesn’t need, is vital to your existence.) This is what happens when we kiss another person. We are sharing vital elements with a person, even if only for a moment. This alone should make you re-evaluate how careless and callous you are with your kisses, but if not-let’s continue.
In my last real relationship (there were some minor distractions afterwards) we not only shared a vow of abstinence until marriage, we never even kissed. Now originally this wasn’t my idea, but after listening to his explanation of why he didn’t kiss, and experiencing the difference first hand-I’m now not only in total agreement with his theory, I am forming my own. He believed that kissing was intimate and he wanted to honor his future wife, whomever she may be, by not giving away something that rightfully belonged to her. And he wanted to respect the husband of any woman that he happened to date, by not stealing from that unknown man what he deserved. I.WAS.FLOORED. Wow! This was honor and respect how I had never seen it.
So we didn’t kiss. He would seldom kiss me on my forehead, and I would kiss him on his cheek but that was the extent of it. Now for some people they may think that this relationship would lack something because of the absence of the physical, but I assure you this was THE MOST intimate relationship I have ever been in. Because we didn’t confuse ourselves and emotions with the pseudo feelings caused by intense physical intimacy, we bonded on a whole ‘nother level emotionally and spiritually. This was more of a connection than a physical bond because we spent the time that I had usually spent hugging and kissing and playing with the purity line- we spent it talking, and going out and reading and discussing our Word. We realized without the pressure of sexual tension we were free to tap into the relationship on a more intimate spectrum.
INSIGHT: ‘Well, this is definitely a ‘once-more’ challenge for me. I fell on this one in the relationship that I was in since this Challenge. Looking back and analyzing (because we should never compare one relationship to the other), I realize we used kissing to substitute and cover up for the lack of emotional intimacy in the relationship. Although we stayed pure by what most people call pure, for me-there was a huge difference. I realized that we didn’t connect emotionally, or even really spiritually (ouch), but we were both physically attracted to each other, so we used it to not deal with the fact that when we weren’t kissing or holding hands-we just didn’t fit. It’s interesting, because towards the end of the relationship- the physical intimacy had dwindled and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. According to this challenge, I guess I couldn’t. I had given him things that were vital to my existence, but what he gave me back was the things he didn’t need. (He exhaled and I inhaled it) Man, that stings to admit-but it’s true. I wouldn’t be who I am and I won’t get to where I’m going by sugarcoating. There is healing in transparency-once I admit it to you, just maybe you’ll get the strength to admit it to yourself.’
Kissing. When does it stop there? It definitely can, but if you are doing it right, you usually don’t want it to. Chaste kissing, leads to tongue kissing, which leads to hands roaming more than on my back, (cover the babies’ eyes) until your shirt is off and my pants are unzipped. Physical intimacy when not protected by the sacred bonds of marriage, is a gateway to sexual immorality/impurity. I’m not saying that every relationship that decides to kiss leads to premarital sex, but I am saying that every relationship that decides to not even get that close to the line, is that much closer to purity. And that is our goal, right?
Kissing is intimate and kissing is powerful. It’s designed to be. With a kiss, Abraham blessed his sons, Jacob declared his love for Rachel, Esau forgave Jacob for stealing his birthright, it anointed Saul for Kingship, it signifies the Christian brotherhood, it showed Mary’s devotion to Jesus and sealed Judas’ betrayal to the same Man. Yet in this society and in our own watered down Christian lives, we have weakened it to a fleshly act, because we feel a jolt of electricity and/or lust for a stranger. Heaven help us.
INSIGHT: OUCH!!! If you didn’t feel it, read that paragraph again.
The Power of life and Death are in the tongue. If you were to take this verse figuratively it means that we will either speak life or call death into any situation. If we take it literally, I translate it to mean that the kisses that you are so callous with are either adding life to someone or something, or bringing about death to your own circumstances. You are choosing to give away at the most or share at the least, your life giving, death conquering power with a cute face?! Give yourself more credit than that. Cherish your kisses and use them for what they were intended for, not what society and the world has deemed acceptable. Remember we can’t be conformed to this world (Romans 12:1-2) because we are not of it (John 15:19).
INSIGHT: ‘I am so convicted with reading this Challenge again. I strayed away, but I’m back. I forgot the life giving power that God had breathed into me, and I became casual with giving it away. Never again. My next kiss will be at the altar, with my husband. He deserves to be only man that I allow to breathe his life into me-because he is me- and I am him. I’ll wait. You can have this world and all that’s in it. My goal is to please Christ and to honor His favor- including His kisses-that He has deposited into me only for my husband.’ Now that I have shared that with you, I pray that you hold me accountable to it, but I ultimately pray that it will challenge you to re-consider who you are giving your kisses to.
Will you join me? It won’t be easy, but it will definitely be worth it.