Memory Verse: He did not even spare His own Son, but offered Him up as a ransom
for us all; How will He not also with Him grant us everything? Romans 8:32
Challenge: Think of some negative statements or comments that you have heard or that you have thought that made you feel inadequate-like you weren’t good enough. Now, think of one positive TRUTH to combat each negative statement. Find a scripture for each positive and meditate on it this week.
Several days in this week will be dedicated to those that feel like they are spiritually, emotionally, physically, financially and any other ‘ally’ that you can think of-ready for marriage, yet the desire for marriage has not been actualized. You’ve been waiting and praying for your ‘one’, but she/he is nowhere to be found. In fact, it’s the opposite. It seems like everyone is getting chosen but you. You may be asking yourself, “How did I get here? Has God forgotten me? What is wrong with me?” This is a dangerous cycle to get caught in. You will soon get sucked into the green-eyed monster and start comparing yourself to those very people that you call friends. Rest assured, because the devil loves mess and messy people, when you do this, he will always make the scales tip in your favor in the “marriage-material” category. You will begin to believe that you are more worthy to be married than the other person. Remember Paul warned against this type of boasting in 2 Corinthians 11. When we start to focus on our accomplishments, and how good or “holy” we are, the enemy has succeeded in convincing us to count on our resources rather than our Source. This is a trick that is literally as old as time and it is still working. Remember the enemy is not always looking to take you out, especially if you are saved; even he understands to be absent in the body is to be present with the Lord (2 Corinthians 5:8). You are more useful to him if you are ineffective. You become one of his prized possessions when you can cause someone else to stumble. Comparisons are a dangerous game to play because spiritually, you are telling God that you don’t approve of His plan for your life and that you would rather have someone else’s. INSIGHT: ‘I’ve been this monster before. Albeit, I was a small monster-I still felt a twinge of jealousy when someone got engaged that I thought was ‘less worthy’ than myself. Who are you, Lavonia, and when did you receive this high horse that you are sitting on?! Ridiculous. I didn’t see this monster in full effect until I was at a college campus teaching a Singles Seminar. After the session, I opened the floor for questions and one young lady asked, ‘how do you deal with knowing someone is getting married that doesn’t deserve it. Like, you are looking at them knowing that she don’t deserve him, like I’m wondering how did she pull him. So what do I do when I know I’m prettier and better than her, but she is the one getting proposed to?’ I was shocked. Did she really say that? Ummm, yes she did. And although at that moment, I was so confused-the Lord later informed me that many people believe this, but she was the one brave enough to put a voice to it. I had to quickly inform her, that no one is ‘more worthy’ than another, and instead of spending so much time focusing on that woman, spend more time focusing on herself and making herself ‘more ready’ so that when it is her time, she won’t miss it being unprepared. We all need to do this self-check. Are we comparing ourselves to someone else? Do we believe that we deserve to be married and we deserve to be married now? If you answered yes, then you should definitely do some serious Spirit searching. God didn’t give you that mindset so I challenge you to wrestle it under submission of Christ.’ So here you are still on the tree, always being passed up while the apples that are on the ground or on the lower branches are being picked so easily; seemingly like they aren’t even trying. Now doubt is setting in. As a woman you start to wonder, “Am I not pretty enough? Is there something wrong with me? Do I not have the right body type or skin tone?” As a man, you may start to believe, “I’m not accomplished enough. I don’t have the right education. I’m too nice. I mean, no one really wants a coming-up brother anymore, huh?” Change your perspective; you are approaching this all wrong. I believe that the truth is not that the apples which have gotten picked are better than you (or less than you for that matter). It’s simply that God saw fit that it was their time. The reason they were picked may be because God knew that the one meant to pick them was on the way. They may have been in the same position you are in: at the top of the tree, seemingly forgotten, asking the same questions you are asking, questioning their value. I encourage you to keep waiting. Whether God supplies a ladder or bends the branches, you will be just in the reach of the one God has chosen when he comes. Maybe you are still on the tree because you aren’t quite ripe yet. Stay there for a while. Mature on the Vine as you grow stronger. When it’s your time, there is no way that you will get passed over. Remember the view is better from the top. Use it to your advantage to weed out those who aren’t strong enough to make it to the top to get you. INSIGHT: ‘I believe that this beautiful young lady at this workshop was still on the vine because God knew that her mindset wasn’t quite ripe yet. She was still consumed with someone else’s life, that she was missing the purpose for hers. God understood that marriage wasn’t going to cure her mindset, it would just give her another avenue to her discontentment. She’s not alone in this struggle, but many of us won’t admit that we have the same view as her. She didn’t realize that she was already good enough, not because she was prettier or better than someone else, but because Christ had chosen her to redeem. That alone validates her (and us); not whether we get chosen.’ If you long for emotional intimacy, I challenge you to find it in God. A man or woman may complement you, but the King of kings is enthralled by your beauty (Psalm 45:11). You may question if a mate loves you at all times, but you should never doubt that God has loved you with an everlasting love; that He has drawn you to Himself with loving-kindness (Jeremiah 31:3). Even in marriage vows, the epitome of an earthly commitment, the most a person can commit to another is, “Until death do us part.” But I love what Paul says: “I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:38-39). The entire book of Song of Solomon is about the beauty of a woman that didn’t think she deserved the affections of a King, and his patient kindness in assuring her over and over again, that she was indeed good enough. In Chapter 1 she is concerned that her dark skin disqualifies her from being beautiful, but in Chapter 2 her King brings her to the royal banquet hall in front of everyone and places a banner of love over her-his public declaration to her is the same declaration that the Lord is making over you: