Memory Verse: So God created man and woman in His own image; He created him in the image of God; he created them male and female. Genesis 1: 27
Challenge: Do something to upgrade yourself today-that will then upgrade your spouse when you are connected-or just add value to your life. Read a book, study your craft, start your business plan for entrepreneurship, start writing your book, apply for a promotion or new position. Share what you did with someone that may need a nudge.
Ok, I don’t listen to a lot of Beyonce. Nothing personal, because I-like other people that either idolize or hate her, don’t know her personally- I’m just not a big fan. BUT-when UPGRADE U came out, I used to go in on this song. GO.IN. Not necessarily because of what she was saying, but the message that she was shooting for. The message that-with me I would add to your life, make your purpose easier, assist you in all endeavors. The message that-there are some things that will be unlocked just by me being by your side. That’s real and that’s a word. Let’s explore some of her lyrics. Now if you take out some (ok, most) of the superficial behind the song- her motive reminds me of another woman I read about…check this.
Don’t doubt yourself trust me you need me
U need a real woman in ur life(That’s a good look)
a]A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
Taking care of home and still fly(That’s a good look)
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
And I’ma help u build up ur account (That’s a good look, better yet a hood look)
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
(But ladies that’s a good look)Believe me
When ur in those big meetings for the mils(That’s a good look)
U take me just to compliment the deal(That’s a good look)
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
And anything u cop I split the bill(That’s a good look, better yet a hood look)
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
I can do for u what Martin did for the people
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
Ran by the man but the women keep the tempo
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
It’s very seldom that ur blessed to find ur equal
Still play my part and let u take the lead role, believe me
I’ll follow, this could be easy
I’ll be the help whenever u need me
I see ur hustle, with my hustle I can keep u
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
Focused on ur focus, I can feed u
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
Just when u think u had it all
Picture ur life elevated with me
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
It’s the little glimpse of light
That makes the diamond really shine
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
Now see my heart behind this. I believe that there is something locked inside of every man that is ordained to get married, that only the ordained ‘helpmeet’ can unlock. Which means 2 things.
1. As a woman, we have to make sure we bring something to the table, and not just sit at it, looking all pretty. Remember verse 30 Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Oh, best believe you are fly Beautiful Woman of Virtue, but you must have character, drive, business savvy, intuition, a desire to see your mate and your household blessed, because in return YOU will be blessed. These are innate traits that your husband needs you to embody to help him reach the purpose that God calls you both to. In Proverbs 18:22, God says ‘A man who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. Just getting married, does not qualify you for the esteemed title of wife. Nor do you become a good thing ONCE you are found-. You are already a good thing, your husband’s eyes are just now opened to see it. Stop calling yourself a Proverbs 31 woman when you KNOW you only embody about 8 of those 21 scriptures. Be honest with yourself…say I got verses 12,13, 20, and 24 down, I’m still being perfected into the others… lol, no but seriously.
2. As a man, you have to have something for her to help you ‘meet’. She is called your helpmeet for a reason, but if you haven’t taken the time to figure out your purpose, what is she helping you meet? Nothing?! Exactly! Being the head is much more than just being a male. Chromosomes make you a male, Character makes you a man. There’s a difference. You don’t just wake up one day knowing how to lead, protect, provide, care for, or spiritually, financially, emotionally and mentally cover your family. That takes work and time and dedication and humility to admit that you don’t know how to do it, and wisdom to find a man that does and go sit at his feet. There is no strength in struggling to be a leader but not asking for help. You can’t say you want a Proverbs 31 woman, when you aren’t embodying the Genesis 2 man. Adam had a purpose, a plan AND a house before God gave him Eve. He had intimate communion with God, a direct line of communication, he had ambition, drive, creativity, leadership-DOMINION. What are you ruling over? A Queen needs a King and a King needs a Kingdom. In order to sit at the city gates, you have to be an elder of the land- a leader. You gotta come up (and stay up) if you are trying to ‘find’ that good thing.
INSIGHT: This is such a powerful word. We are constantly talking about what we are looking for in a mate, but we never do a self-assessment to analyze ourselves. If someone was describing their potential mate, would they be listing the characteristics you embody RIGHT NOW? God will not give you something you aren’t prepared to handle. As much as it is up to you, seek to live a good life, work with your hands and leave at peace with your fellow man (Romans 12:18, 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12) Stop waiting on the perfect mate, and start being a perfected mate. Upgrade yourself by doing those things that you need to do now. Fix those broken pieces in your armor and your heart, so that you can be whole for the next season God is moving you toward.