DAY 15: Keeping Marriage in the Proper Perspective

Published May 17, 2013 by lavoniartryon


Memory Verse:  I am certain that God who began the good work in you will continue His work until it is finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns Philippians 1:6

Psalm: 130

Challenge: Go to a trusted married friend or family member and ask them to share some things that they wish they would have done before they got married and why. Then share one with us and how it will influence your Single season.


Marriage has to stay in its proper perspective. You become a defeated Christian single when you spend so much time being preoccupied with getting married, that you become ineffective in your Singleness. Don’t get so caught up in the bondage of married-mindedness that you miss the freedom of Singleness. There is a freedom that comes from having only to think on the things of the Lord right now. We lose that when we start dwelling on, “When I get married, I will…” or “My husband and I will…” News Flash! While you are busy planning your future, you are failing to live in your present! You are telling God this stage you are in isn’t worthy enough for you to actualize or develop in, so you will just bury it and wait on Him to return to get you out of it.

This viewpoint comes from only knowing of the Master and His plan, instead of spending the time really getting to know Him. In Matthew 25:14-28, Jesus tells the Parable of the Talents. One servant was given 5, one was given 2 and one was given 1, according to their ability. This statement here speaks of obedience and grace. The two servants that were given 5 and 2 talents respectfully, had earned the trust of the Master in order to be given a bigger portion, but the one only given 1 had not.  I would be daring enough to say that he had not shown himself to faithful with one talent but the Master was giving him simply another chance to get right what he had messed up so many times before. Each servant treated the talent in the way that he saw the Master, the two that invested it- knew the Master and must have had a personal relationship with Him because they sought to please Him by giving Him more than what they were left with. I believe the other servant only knew OF the Master, but didn’t really know the Master, because if he did, he would have been more intentional with the talent that he was given. What are you doing with your talent of Singleness? Are you investing it right now, so that when you move on to your next  stage whether marriage or a different level of purpose in your Singleness, you will be able to give more to your 1st Husband AND your spouse? Or is it buried just waiting on the Master to return and reclaim it, to move you on?

INSIGHT: ‘I have to admit that I might have been the servant given 5 talents at the beginning of this story, but I started to bury it towards the end. I got comfortable. I stopped investing it. Not that I stopped giving and sharing what God had shown me, but I stopped growing in it. I was content to share my wisdom, but I had gotten comfortable where I was. My desire to grow and expand more in this season had dwindled. Getting to do it all over, I’m now not only focused on pouring out, I am dedicated to being consistently poured into as well.’

We have to use our Single season to learn how to fit our lives around our time with God, not fitting God around our lives. In the first scenario, our agenda and plans are on the throne of our heart; in the latter Christ is. Singleness is a time to anchor, deadbolt, and superglue Christ to the top priority in our life because if He is not on the throne as a Single, He will not magically jump on it when we get married. The purpose of our Singleness is to be used for God’s glory. If He is not getting glory from our Single life, how can we imagine Him getting it from our married life? Jeremiah 29:11 says God knows the plans He has for us, of good and not of evil, to give us a hope and an expected end. So our Singleness is in His plan just as our marriage will be. If marriage is the “expected end” to this stage of our life, why not enjoy the journey getting there?

It’s been stated that a Single person once said, “I hope Jesus doesn’t come back before I get married.” Although maybe spoken in jest, it’s sad because many of us agree with this. We can’t allow earthly pleasures to take precedence over an eternal perspective. That you would even consider prolonging being in this world, in exchange for your heavenly home, shows signs of a deeper issue. Anything more important than being with your Heavenly King has become an idol—even marriage.

Once marriage becomes an idol the enemy has succeeded in distracting us, and a distracted Christian is an ineffective Christian. If you focus so much on the one tree that you can’t have, Eve, you will forget about every other tree that is at your disposal. I believe this is how she was lured away, by her own lust for what was forbidden. Satan convinced her that the only thing that she didn’t have was the one thing she couldn’t live without. He is still using the same trick on us today. Why? Because it is still working. He doesn’t have to change his M.O. because we are still falling for it. If he can get us to doubt God’s love and provision by making us feel like He is withholding something good, then he can get us to doubt everything else our faith has already proven.

Satan’s goal is not only to kill you. He understands the concept to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord, so to kill you would only push you into the arms of your Creator. That wouldn’t benefit him at all and you are much more valuable to him being ineffective. An ineffective Christian is one that will get to Heaven, but won’t bring anyone else with him. It is one who is not growing in God, not performing His will, and not working for the Kingdom. Now this Christian—Satan can use. You are more valuable to him than a legion of his demons at this point because no one will expect you to be used by him, he can slip you in under the radar and infiltrate places that his demons would be recognized. Because you are so depressed in your Single state, you miss out on the wonderful blessings of this season and end up pulling down everyone connected to you. Don’t be the devil’s punk. Fight for your contentment and remember who you are and Whose you are. Don’t allow anything to distract you from using your Single talents to glorify the Master that has entrusted them to you, even the promise of marriage.

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