DAY 20: What being Single has taught me about Getting Married

Published October 21, 2012 by lavoniartryon

Memory verse: I charge you daughters of Jerusalem, Do not awaken love before it’s time. Song of Solomon 8:4

Psalm 130

Challenge: What are some single perks that you aren’t quite ready to give up for marriage?

This Challenge will be short and (somewhat) sweet. I’ve determined that this may be a bit self-centered, but I have also determined that I’m ok with that.

What being Single has taught me about getting married is that: I LOVE BEING SINGLE RIGHT NOW!!!

I really do. Unashamed, uninhibited and most importantly unattached. Now don’t get me wrong, I believe that when I get married I will LOVE being married, but I’m not there right now. I am more than ok with that. There is a certain freedom with being Single that is a luxury not afforded to marriage, as Paul speaks about in 1 Corinthians 7 willingly and as Jeremiah was commanded in Jeremiah 2. We have the freedom and liberty to not check in- USE IT! I have many friends that are married or seriously dating and before we make a last minute decision about a late night dinner, or going on a day trip to the San Marcos outlets- they have to call their significant other-not necessarily to ask for permission, but just to inform them that they will be late home or unavailable for the day. I call….my bank to make sure I can shop the way I want to? My mom just in case I have a blowout on the freeway so someone knows where I am (and sometimes not even then)? Some Singles see this as a sore spot to not have someone to check in with. NOT.ME. I realize everyone may not relate to this post, but I believe there is a remnant that will 😉

Recently I met a guy that was determined to take me out. He was local delivery truck driver so he worked pretty standard shifts and informed me that when he gets off around 6 or so, he is free every evening, so the date was up to me. I was shocked and a bit turned off, I must admit. ‘You mean, you get off work and just go home? And do what? Watch tv, play PlayStation?’ I couldn’t understand that. Where is your vision, your goals, your life and why aren’t you busy working on them? I NEVER have days when I just come home and watch TV. I fit one into my schedule about once every 2-3 weeks just to keep my sanity, but even then I’m reading or working on my next 3 books. So, needless to say he couldn’t understand when I couldn’t ‘work him into’ my schedule as readily as he could me. Between my part-time job, my two businesses, my book(s), speaking engagements, Singles ministry and sorority- my days are pretty packed-so going to dinner and a movie with a guy that I might or might not be slightly interested in, is pretty low on the totem pole.

Maybe some of this comes from the residual effects of being engaged to an insecure, unsure of himself man. Yep, I was engaged-read the book (shameless plug). He wanted to know where I was going and who with. I felt obligated to keep him informed in decisions of my life, and I was no longer at liberty to be as free as I would like. This is not to say that every relationship will be or should be this way, but every relationship does have a level of responsibility to make decisions or at least include your significant other in them. Right now, I am rather enjoying my level of responsibility to…. me and God.

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