Memory Verse: A prudent person sees trouble coming and ducks; a simpleton walks in blindly and is clobbered. Proverb 22:3
Challenge: Think back to your last, a past relationship or even a potential suitor . What were some warning signs that this person might not have been/might not be ‘the one’ but you ignored them?
I’ve often heard the phrase, love is blind but marriage is a real eye opener. Of course, we Singles laugh at this (or at least this Single used to), but I don’t think we fully grasp what this means to a person in that situation. What I take from this statement is that, when you are busy falling in love and thinking this person’s dirty laundry doesn’t even stink, you are unaware of all the things that you should be taking notice of. So as a result, you get in a committed relationship with a person, or even a marriage before you really get to know the nature of the person. This translates into those long crying sessions with your girlfriends or those intense basketball games with your boys-discussing how they are no longer the person you married or first met. I don’t believe this is completely true, I believe that IS the person you married, you just dated the representative and didn’t bother or was too ‘in the love bubble’ to dig deeper.
My previous Pastor used to say when you date you should have both eyes wide open, wear glasses, use a magnifying glass and a black light, and then when you decide to marry this person-close one eye and dim the lights. What does this mean? That the dating stage should be the time that you acknowledge those red flags or those discrepancies in the person, then when you decide to marry them you don’t nag about the things that you tolerated while you were courting. Before you decide to spend the rest of your life with a person, you should burst the love bubble (we will talk about this next week) and really discuss things from the perspective that once you walk down the aisle, you can’t turn back around and run up it, because you didn’t know he had 60,000 of debt or that she doesn’t know how nor have a desire to submit.
Those essential things that you aren’t seeing in the mate should be addressed. Never simply think that they will get better when you get married. They might get worse, because now you have to share everything with this person and what used to irritate you only on Monday, Wednesday and weekends, will be making your living conditions miserable every night of the week.
This message isn’t meant to say that a man or woman has to be perfect to earn your affections, just that you shouldn’t be so casual and careless with who you give them away to. Snoring isn’t a deal-breaker, but jealousy or insecurity might be. You see what I mean?
The TSA now has this slogan that you will see all around the airport ‘See Something, Say Something’. This campaign is admonishing travelers to be aware of their surroundings and don’t simply dismiss something that could be suspect, thinking it’s nothing. That nothing could be the bomb that changes your life. Same scenario but in a relationship. That ‘something’ that you keep looking over and dismissing might be the thing that puts additional strain on that relationship and eventually breaks it.
SEE SOMETHING. SAY SOMETHING. Everything shouldn’t be an issue, but some things should be. Choose wisely, and determine go into every relationship with your eyes (not just your nose) wide open. If Samson would have done this, his fate would have been very different. We will discuss his particular foolishness tomorrow.
My friend has a saying ‘Everyone has their own brand of crazy, you just have to find the person whose crazy is compatible with yours.’ True statement, truer application.